Wealth in Families – Quote Catch

- “What follows are some probing questions about family money and family philanthropy. There are no single or right answers. Asking the question and hearing how other family members respond are more important than the answers.
- What challenges do we face regarding our family and our money?
- What is our vision for our family’s future?
- What is our family’s definition of success?
- What is an appropriate financial inheritance for our children?
- What principles will guide our decisions about estate allocations?
- What has been our experience of working together as a family?
- How do we prepare our children to steward a financial inheritance?
- Should we bring our son-in-law or daughter-in-law into financial and philanthropic conversations?
- What are our core philanthropic interests and how did these come to be important to us?
- How may we enable the next generation to create a shared dream with a family foundation while also fulfilling the founder’s mission?
- How do we promote a sense of togetherness in our family while also encouraging each person’s individuality?”
Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 1-2
“Monica McGoldrick writes about the priority of family stories in her book, You Can Go Home Again: Reconnecting with your family.’We are born not just into our family, but into our family’s stories, which both nourish and sometimes cripple us. And when we die, the stories of our lives become part of our family’s web of meaning. Family stories tend to be told to remind members of the family’s cherished beliefs. We sing of the heroes and even the villains whose daring the family admires. Taping or writing down the stories of older family members can bring a richness to our search for perspective on family that cannot be achieved in any other way.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 2-3
“All families exhibit two strong emotional forces: one pushes us toward togetherness, while the other pulls us toward individuality.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 3
- “Consider these questions:
- What is really important to your family?
- What are your family’s true assets?
- What should you do to guide and support the life journey of each family member over time?
- How wealthy do you want your children to be?
- Do you feel you have a responsibility to society?
These are the deeper questions families ought to ask themselves today- and on a continuing basis.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 5
“What kind of family do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish or help others to accomplish? What legacy do you want to leave your children and society? Deciding where to go with your financial success and why you want to meet those goals are the strategic questions that you should ask first. Determining how to get there and which legal arrangements to use are secondary tactical decisions.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 5
“I define a successful family as one that knows who it is, what it stands for, and where it is going. Successful families manage themselves deliberately. There is much at stake for your individual family members, for your family as a whole, and for society at large. If you and your family can define “what’s important” before deciding “what to do,” then your children will thrive, your family will flourish, and society will benefit.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 5
“Staggering amounts of financial wealth have been produced in America since World War II, and especially in the last two decades. The result is a vast personal opportunity, huge inheritances, stunning philanthropy, and a crisis of meaning. The wealthy are, in many cases, searching for a dimension beyond wealth. Increasingly, they are asking themselves penetrating questions about the purpose of financial wealth. How much is enough? How do I make sure my financial wealth creates independence rather than dependency? Can I use my wealth to make a difference to society?” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 6
“The focus of financial wealth preservation, it turns out, is not really financial.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 6
- “How, then, should you think about the deeper issues around wealth? Begin by asking your family four simple questions drawn from a business model for strategic planning taught at Harvard Business School:
1. What is your family’s vision for its future?
2. Can your family members work together?
3. Can your family make joint decisions around money, philanthropy, and legacy?
4. How should your family make decisions together?” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 6
“To undertake effective succession planning, you may want to define a family vision and mission, create a structure for decision making appropriate to your family, foster open communication, and encourage the growth and development of all your family members.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 7
“Your approach to wealth is a statement to your family of what you stand for. You and your family do stand for something, even if it is never articulated. What core values and principles does your family agree on on-for example, achievement, knowledge, diversity, hard work, generosity, creativity, compassion, spirituality, justice, integrity, honesty, service, respect, or love?” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 7
“Another key question focuses on the meaning and purpose of your family’s financial wealth? Is its highest and best use to spend it, to provide a higher standard of living for family members, to enable family members to choose careers based on factors other than economics, to fund new family businesses, to provide a comfortable retirement, to provide for family emergencies, to provide resources for philanthropy, or a combination of all these?” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 7
“Money can express your core values and expand your family members’ pursuit of their life calling. A discussion that articulates your family’s values and vision, while respecting individual differences, can strengthen your family.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 8
“There are four major kinds of family wealth: human, intellectual, social, and financial.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 8
“Most families are only aware that they have one form of capital: financial capital,” says James E. (Jay) Hughes, Jr., an estate planning lawyer and family governance specialist in New York, author of Family Wealth: Keeping it in the Family. Hughes is a proponent of the four forms of family wealth: “A family must know whether all of its forms of capital are growing. Rarely in my experience do families measure their human, intellectual, and social capital. Frequently, members do not even recognize that they own these forms of capital.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 8-9
“Family philanthropy is a powerful teaching tool that provides a safe environment in which your children can learn about money management and working as part of a team. Moreover, many families want to leave a legacy of meaning in addition to their financial wealth. Philanthropy can function as an important vehicle for articulation core values, providing a meaningful family legacy, and giving your children (and grandchildren) a competency experience. A strategic philanthropy program for family members enhances their human, intellectual, and social capital.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 9
“Successful families make thoughtful choices around their wealth and think about the effect of their decisions on the lives of their children and their spouses and their grandchildren. Most importantly, they talk openly with their children, at age-appropriate times, about all the issues surrounding the four components of the family’s true wealth.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 9
Of course, no family achieves all of these objectives, but attempting to do so is a goal to which any family can aspire over a lifetime.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 9-10
“When I ask parents what their deepest hopes are for their children, they often say they just want them to be happy. But how should we think about happiness? Is it simply a pleasant emotion or something more? According to Aristotle and his latter-day student, Thomas Jefferson, the “pursuit of happiness” has to do with an internal journey to know ourselves and an external journey of selfless service to others. Indeed, the concept of a personal moral compass has been a central motif throughout the lifetime of our civilization.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 10
“More recently, Abraham Maslow, the twentieth-century American psychologist, gave us clues to real happiness in his hierarchy of human needs and goals. Self-actualization, the final aspiration, involves the journey through which we discover what we are truly called to do and be and starting to do it. Maslow postulated an additional objective: transcendence, the ability to move beyond the “self,” to see one’s own fulfillment as inextricably linked to serving the needs of others.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 10
- “In my experience, the best practices of successful families include the following:
1. They focus on the human, intellectual, and social capital of their family.
2. They stress the priority of each family member’s individual pursuit of happiness.
3. They work on enhancing intrafamily communication.
4. Their time frame for determining success is long-term.
5. They tell and retell the family’s most important stories.
6. They create mentor-like relationships when establishing family trusts.
7. They have collaboratively defined a family vision statement (the Shared Dream).”
8. They teach children and grandchildren the competencies and responsibilities that come with financial wealth.
9. They work at getting to really know each family member.
10. They give their younger family members as much responsibility as they can manage as soon as possible.
Of course, no family achieves all of these objectives, but attempting to do so is a goal to which any family can aspire over a lifetime.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 9-10
“The Rev. F. Washington Jarvis, headmaster emeritus of the Roxbury Latin School, says that true happiness in life comes from a long-term vision of our life. Jarvis writes in his book, With Love and Prayers, “Important, though, as a vision is [regarding career and lifestyle], it is nothing like as important as an overall vision for your whole life. We might call such a vision existential; it has to do with the discovery by you of some meaning and purpose to your whole existence. Inevitably such a vision must entail not only finding meaning in your life but meaning also in your inevitable death.” He goes on to say, “If you want to be happy, you must learn to love: to pay the price of caring for others, of putting them first, of inconveniencing yourself. That is the pathway to happiness.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 10
“As my father wrote years ago, “To be really rich is to be rich in achievement, rich in experience, and rich in friendship.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 11
“I argue that religion or spirituality encourages philanthropy by explicitly linking givers to the concerns and needs of others,” says Schervish in his essay, “Wealth and the Spiritual Secret of Money.” “My analysis follows a three-step logic: (1) if wealth affords individuals the ability to have what they want (at least in the material realm), and (2) if philanthropy can be understood as the transformation of time and money from a pool of wealth into a disposable gift to other, (3) religion– as it takes form in what I call the spirituality of money-motivates or spurs philanthropy, in amount and type, by shaping the quality of wants or desires among the wealthy. If the wealthy generally can have what they want, it is the realm of spirituality that directs their wants into a bond of care for others.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 13
“Our research,” says Schervish, in his introduction to the book Gospels of Wealth, “reveals that for many respondents, both those who earned and those who inherited their wealth-a major transformation in consciousness takes place at some point with regard to that wealth. This point may arrive quietly and gradually or appear as a dramatic realization.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 16
“The wealthy move beyond pursuing private interest as their public contribution to pursuing public needs as their personal concern. Those who do so may be described as having learned the spiritual secret of money. The scope of their self-interest increasingly broadens and deepens to include a greater diversity of people and needs.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 17
“Financial wealth is a tool to achieve greater ends, for individuals and for society. Thus, philanthropy has a dual purpose. First, it is a vehicle for expressing core values for individuals and for families. Typically, these values might include educational opportunity, advancement of knowledge, artistic freedom, alleviation of suffering, eradication of disease, or environmental preservation. Second, philanthropy is the tangible expression of care for others outside one’s immediate family.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 17
“Schervish defines philanthropy as the social relation of care in which individuals expand the horizons of their self-interest to include meeting the needs of others.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 17
“The term care derives, of course, from the Latin Caritas. The philanthropist is first and foremost a caregiver, not a giver of time and money. Time and money are the medium by which care is expressed. But the fundamental moral standard to which philanthropists should dedicate themselves is caring for others in need.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 17
“The meaning of wealth is fundamentally freedom. It’s freedom from material constraints and the constraints of time. It’s a dialectic between freedom from and freedom to. The freedom to, on the material side, is to be able to purchase what you want, to go where you want, to have what you want in the material realm. Freedom in the temporal realm is often a way of retrieving the past. When things go wrong and you have wealth, you can often correct a mistake or problem. You can shape to some extent the present and the future.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 18
“Emotionally, wealth is freedom too. There’s psychological empowerment, a mixture of confidence that you can have what you want and you have the ability to carry it out. On a psychological level, it enables you to have both great expectations, and the confidence to achieve them.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 18
“I think the terrain of spirituality-of virtue and vice-is different for wealth holders. The dialectics of care and control are different. But remember, wealth is like fire. It can enchant and deepen some, but it can burn and destroy others.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 19
“This gets to a deeper question. Does money corrupt, or [does it] open opportunity? We know the answer. It can do both.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 22
“First of all, recognize that grown children are going to make their own decisions anyway. The real question is” How do wealth holders help create the circumstances for their children to make wise decisions? For example, around the family philanthropic process, you might say, “what are your passions and how do you want to support them?” You have to allow them to give to the causes they care about and in ways and amounts that they decide.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 22-23
“Your shepherding is your communication to them of the happiness that you create and experience by the wise use of your money.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 24
“Part of the reason for believing that my wealth should be given back to society,” says Bill Gates, in Forbes magazine article, “and not, in any substantial percentage, be passed on to my children, is that I don’t think it would be good for them. They really need to get out and work and contribute to society. I think that’s an important element of a fulfilling life.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 25
“What would be best for your children? What do you hope they will accomplish with the money? Making a considered and deliberate decision is wise because, if you don’t, you’ve actually made a decision. You have picked the default position; that is, all to my children, less a significant percentage to the government. Spending time on inheritance planning may allow you to transfer the amount you eventually have in mind to your children while making gifts to charity, rather than to the government through taxes. The choices are not your children to taxes, but your children and charity and no taxes.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 26
“In discussing his views on the uses of a financial inheritance, the late Robert G. Stone, Jr., chairman emeritus of the Kirby Corporation in New York and former Senior Fellow of Harvard College, said it well: “I believe in giving your children enough money so they can follow whatever pursuit they want in life. If they want to be teachers or artists, I hope they will be the best they can be in those fields. Having money gives them freedom of choice with security, no matter what direction they decide to take.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 26
“The decision on how much to give or leave your children is a deeply personal one, and there are many variables, including individual preferences and specific family situations. Having said that, and admitting there are no rules of thumb, I’ll make some observations using hard numbers. In my experience, with families where the publicly traded financial wealth is in the range of $15 million to $30 million, the opening number is typical $1 million to $2 million per child. In most cases, the amount provides a measure of flexibility, but it may not dramatically change the child’s lifestyle. Also, I see many people deciding that $3 million to $5 million is an appropriate financial inheritance. For families with approximately $100 million and above, many believe that $10 million to $15 million per child is sufficient. Finally, for families with a net worth greater than $500 million, the inheritance often ranges from $25 million to $50 million or more.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 27
“Entrepreneurs enjoy the hunt,” adds Fay, “and they want to instill that sense of struggle and achievement in their children. They’ll set up a safety net for them so they can be teachers or musicians-to expand their range of fulfilling life opportunities. They’ll tell their own story about how excited they are in creating something in the hope that their children will challenge themselves.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 28
“True economic freedom is the ability to wake up in the morning and be able to decide what you will do for the day,” Hughes concludes. “Thus, an appropriate inheritance maybe that amount of financial wealth that will allow you to live in this way. Any amount of money beyond that is discretionary because it is not what you need to be free.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 28
“It makes more sense to give money to your children during your lifetime than at your death,” said Dick Watson. “Leaving money to your children at your death is not nearly as tax-effective. Also, the money often arrives too late to have a positive impact on your children’s lives.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 29
“So when would it be best for your heirs to receive their inheritance? People tend to choose one of two approaches. First, define the inheritance and give it to them sooner rather than later Talk with them, provide age-appropriate financial education, and help them understand and work with the money. Financial education and discussion of wealth responsibility are critical to this approach. Openness and access early on, coupled with education, also enhance their ability to choose careers not solely based on economics of the profession.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 29
“Secrecy surrounding the family’s financial situation often begins between spouses. Many wealth holders don’t tell their spouses how much money they have or how it is invested. An Open and frank discussion is essential if spouses are going to work together on inheritance planning and eventually talk with their children. Sharing financial information with your spouse makes sense because this is the person with whom you are going to discuss sharing the information with your children.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 31
“People don’t think about the question of whether a spouse without money ought to have his or her own money so they don’t have to ask for it,” said Dick Watson. “I ask wealth holders-typically husbands-if their spouse has money of their own, and the response is often, ‘No, but she can have whatever she wants.’ I suggest he give his wife a significant amount of money so that she doesn’t have to ask. This is often a transforming experience, changing the power and trust in the relationship for the better.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 32
“More communication is almost always better. Talking to your children early about the meaning and purpose of your family wealth can also enhance your relationship with your children.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 32
“Turn around the government’s default plan,” Englund adds, “and you decide, in consultation with your children, how to organize your family’s financial wealth. A wonderful part of this whole approach is that your children talk to one another. The expression of this concept will vary from family to family, but what a powerful dialogue. What an opportunity for your family!” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 32
“Education and training are the most important investments in human capital,” writes Gary S. Becker, professor of economics and sociology at the University of Chicago and a winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics, in his book Human Capital. “These investments improve skills, knowledge…and thereby raise…psychic incomes.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 33
“Intellectual capital involves how individuals learn over a lifetime and how families communicate, resolve conflict, make joint decisions, and mentor one another.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 33
“In every culture that I’ve encountered in China, Latin America, and Europe, for example- I run into the same proverb. In China, rice paddy to rice paddy; in Ireland, clogs to clogs. It appears that financial wealth is destined to disappear in three or four generations. The proverb means that the first generation makes the money, the second generation preserves it, the third generation spends it, and the fourth generation must re-create it. I prefer the rice paddy idiom; for example, imagine a poor couple in China wearing torn clothing. They pull rice every day and make a financial fortune. They don’t leave their home or change their way of life. The second generation moves to the city join the opera board and becomes significant members of society. The third generation, having no experience of work, spends the money, and the fourth generation goes back to working in the rice paddy.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 35-36
“Children need to be nurtured and encouraged,” Hausner points out, “and they need tolerance when they make mistakes, as well as the willingness to allow them to make their own choices. Above all, they need opportunities to take charge of themselves and to assume personal responsibility if they are eventually to manage their own lives.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 41-42
“Time is a precious commodity in our lives. Many well-meaning parents unintentionally limit their availability to be with their children because of important business, social, and charitable commitments. “While it is not possible to create universal rules regarding time,” Hausner says, “learning effective parenting techniques can make the time you spend with your children meaningful, memorable, and special, so that you are, in a sense, with them even when you are not.” Many observers have pointed out that the quality of time we spend with our children is just as important as the quantity.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 42
“Further challenges include being realistic in your expectations of children, helping them to develop their own competencies and thus avoiding unhealthy dependence on the powerful adults surrounding them. You should learn to be an excellent listener, communicating in a manner that demonstrates respect for each child.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 42
“If you already have money without the necessity of working, it becomes easy not to develop the discipline and focus that lead to competency. Children who are raised in an impoverished environment are forced to become independent and competent because there is nobody providing for them. Whatever they desire must come through their own effort. What happens to a wealthy child surrounded by people who do things for the child: tutors, nannies, and strong parents-a whole world of people whose main function is to service the child? The critical issue is the lack of work experience. If you read autobiographies of great achievers, most of them struggled and had significant work experience. They sold newspapers, they worked on the docks, they worked in a store. They really worked hard, and this type of work is one of the important competency experiences. Contrast this to the world of wealthy children. If they’re not in school, they’re often in summer camp or traveling in Europe. Not only do they often miss the opportunity of working, but in families of generational wealth, they don’t even see the model of work in their families. The source of the family’s financial support is a trust fund. In these situations, how are they going to get an idea about what it means to work? Work is important because it is a method of validating oneself. Additionally, it gives the individual the opportunity to experience the “high” of achievement. When a child becomes addicted to the excitement of achievement, then money will not impair their productivity.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 44-45
“How do parents provide financial security, yet create opportunities for meaningful work that leads to self-actualization? Parents have to give their children opportunities to be competent as often as possible. This means that from the time your children are able to do anything for themselves, they do it. In spite of the consideration that your family may employ full-time help, children need to be assigned specific chores for which they are responsible. These might include setting the table, cleaning their rooms, and feeding pets. Additionally, I think you must stimulate them intellectually. Talk to your children and ask for their opinions.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 45-46
“Entrepreneurial parents have said to me, “I have a seven-year-old child, and we’re flying in our private jet to Jackson Hole. I’m worried about the message I’m sending my child. How do I raise children with a balanced view of our family wealth?” This is a big challenge. What the parents might say is, “We happen to be extremely fortunate, and we have this jet that we can use on special occasions. Most people are notable to use this airplane, and we do not talk about it because it will make people feel unhappy or jealous. This is a luxury item that is available because your mom or your dad worked very hard.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 46
“I feel strongly that parents should not give their children a significant financial inheritance during their career-building years, say, ages 22 to 35. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t help them out financially with their needs around health, education, reasonable housing, philanthropy, entrepreneurial activity, and financial education. But in terms of when they are going to receive a large inheritance, it shouldn’t be during those important career-building years. I don’t think they should get it until they’re around 40. They need to make it on their own if they’re going to achieve any kind of competence. Money can derail the work they need to do during those critical years.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 47
“Family money should have nothing to do with the love between two individuals who wish to marry. When discussing this idea with future in-laws, it is important to emphasize that, even with a prenuptial, everyone will benefit from this type of financial wealth preservation. There can be trips, vacation homes, educational trusts for children, and retirement security, for example. The prenuptial doesn’t take any of that away. Additionally, the new couple will have the full benefits of the wealth that they create together, and this should be seen as a priority.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 50
“That is one joy of having money: you can give your children all the tools that they need to be competent and independent adults.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 52
- Grade school, ages 6 to 12
- Discuss caring for possessions.
- Structure an allowance: Most experts suggest a modest amount for being part of the family and doing certain basic household chores.
- Provide jobs for pay.
- Encourage long-term savings: Consider matching any money they will save for over a year.
- Set limits around money, for example, not buying everything they want when you go shopping.
- Introduce philanthropy: Help them to give and take them on-site visits.
- - Work with them on a college spending budget.
  - Insist on summer employment and fund their Roth IRA.
  - Set up adviser-facilitated learning about investments.
  - Provide money for them to manage.
  - - Guide them through their budget and a 1040 tax return.
    - Advocate smart consumerism: For example, discuss the messages in advertising and the impact of advertising on their purchases.
    - Discuss the intelligent use of credit cards and checking accounts.
    - Explore investments on the Internet.
    - Engage them in philanthropy: Encourage site visits and include them in evaluating gift decisions. Explain the roles of trustee and beneficiary, if trusts are used in your family. Teen years, ages 13 to 18
    - College years, ages 18 and over
  - Engage them in philanthropy; add them to the board of your philanthropic fund.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 55-56
- Insist on summer employment; fund their Roth IRA.
“Children need to learn early and often that they are responsible for their decisions, including those that involve money, and must live with the consequences.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 56
“Our parents were clear about the dual purpose of the wealth: to enable us to live well while pursuing diverse careers and to allow us to support causes we cared about.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 57
“It’s been my experience that if families focus on what the money means-creating more wealth for future generations or undertaking family philanthropy, for example-these families develop the necessary values around money that can be articulated to current and future generations.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 58
“Philanthropy can instill a sense of responsibility around wealth in the next generation of your family. “The more money you have personally,” said Bob Stone, “the more responsibility you have to society. Providing an inheritance to our children also gives them certain responsibilities as well, including using their wealth to have a positive impact on society.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 67
“To organize your family philanthropy intelligently, I suggest you explore the following four areas: defining your core values, choosing a giving vehicle, making grants, and transferring leadership.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 69
“Families meet informally all the time. That is how family members communicate and share their lives. Families that need to make decisions together-especially families of wealth-can also benefit from more formal meetings. Meetings of this kind help to build effective families. Formal family meetings allow nuclear or multigenerational families to meet in a more structured, and therefore safer, environment. The purpose is to share information, learn about one another, make joint decisions, understand the family’s financial wealth, discuss ways to give back to society, begin or perpetuate family traditions, discuss leadership issues, and forge or preserve the family’s vision for the future. Meetings enable the next generation to participate in the family business or the business of the family. In short, these gatherings provide families with a forum to discuss and enhance not only financial capital but also “relational capital,” strengthening the system of family relationships across generations.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 81
“Family stories are vital to the well-being of a family and need to be told time and time again. They provide a view of the family’s history and send a message to the children, in-laws, and grandchildren that they belong and that their family is unique. The next generation gains a sense of the vital “differentness” of their family. Moreover, one reason for the proverb “shirtsleeves-to-shirtsleeves in three generations” being true is that the individuals in the third and fourth generations often have no connection to the source of the family’s financial wealth. They have no idea what it took to create the money they must now steward. Family stories keep that connection alive for many generations.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 82
“In the long run, the possessor of great wealth is judged in part by the use he makes of his riches, including in that use his disposal of them at his death.” Charles W. Eliot AB 1853. President of Harvard University, 1869-1909. From Great Riches (1906). Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 91
“The real wealth of your family is not financial. Because of this, your individual principles and family’s vision should be discussed before implementing various estate planning strategies.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 91
“John O’Neill, a business leadership consultant, says it well in his book Leadership Aikido: “A plan is nothing more than a road map to a destination that will leave you changed-a different person from the one that started the trip” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 91
“Money has profound meaning in our society,” says columnist Esther M. Berger in a Town and Country article. “It has become a metaphor for many things, some positive (freedom and philanthropy, for example) and some decidedly negative (condescension and control).” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 92
“Philanthropy is a way for mortals to pursue immortality,” concluded Peter Gomes.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 93
“The highest and best purpose of the estate planning process is, for me, to facilitate the effective transfer of an appropriate amount of financial assets to succeeding generations of family members in a way that will improve their life course. Families that are effective in this process exhibit a number of common qualities. They treat their adult children with respect, openness, and clear communication. They strive to work with them as equals. The family money provides freedom and flexibility for their children but is not so important as to be key to their sense of self-worth. They use considered principles to guide their decision-making surrounding the uses of the family money. Foremost among the guiding principles is the assumption that adult children should take responsibility for their lives.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 96
“Remember, money is important, but not all-important. The best thing you can do for your family is to invest in their human, intellectual, and social capital.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 112
“Think carefully about the purpose of the financial inheritance. Engage all of your children in conversations about your financial wealth and their inheritances.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 114
“There are compelling arguments for having prenuptial arrangements for a member of a family for who a business is important. The company is a family asset and ongoing enterprise that may have been in place for a number of generations, and many families want to see the business continue to grow for many additional generations.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 114
“Engage all of your young adult children in conversations about the distribution of your financial wealth. Planning for a possible prenuptial arrangement is both a legal process and a family process. Meaningful conversations over a period of time can be an opportunity for strengthening the family and addressing difficult topics with openness and respect. In the long run, these “breakthrough conversations” can be enormously informative and useful all around.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 117-118
“‘I’m giving as much money as possible to my children while I’m living,” says Peter Solomon. “The benefit in telling my children what they have and can expect is that they can plan a life within the parameters of that money. This is important to me because it fosters their independence and encourages them to lead their own lives.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 120