April 1st, 1995 – Saturday Fool’s Day
Today was a sweet day! 1st of all we got up at 5:45am (late) and we took off to Severson & Pearce’s house to tell them they had to go to Esmeraldas to capacitate there. We then went to the Stake Missionary Interviews with Giovanny and he was 100% different up there. He covered every point on the Requirements for Meetings. It was so sweet! I feel good leaving this ward behind. The Lord tested us the whole time & we had this success. It was sweet. AFterward my comp & I went to the office & met with the Sisters Larsen & Ortega. My comp & I had a little clash in there that the sisters observed. Probably not too cool. We went to Villa Flora and we had a meeting with all the Stake Missionaries of Santa Ana. Elder Hanks & I didn’t do much, they cut us off an hour. It turned out alright. We talked with Mario Castillo tonight & we went to his house. It was neat because this guy is incredible. He was an Evangelist pastor & has been rejected by a lot of people because of his baptism. Tonight we talked a long time & he asked me to give him a blessing. The spirit was very strong & special. This man is incredible.
April 2nd, 1995 – Domingo
Today was a great day. 1st of all I was fasting so that I could control my thoughts & also so that we’d have success in the Santa Ana stake. We stopped by to look at the Villa Flor missionaries house. It looks like we’ll be staying there even though it is super small. We went & attended sacrament meeting in Solanda. It was pretty sweet. We worked on getting a lot of data from the Stake Missionaries. We went to InaQuito at 1pm because they said that they were going to show General Conference. They didn’t start until 3:30pm so we didn’t see much of it. I was a bit bugged because I was about to pass out from lack of agua. When I’m grumpy I’m a punk. We went to a baptism of 4 people. It was awesome to see and to feel of the spirit. Afterward we went to Elder constane’s house & Elder Erickson’s (ZL’s). We ate spaghetti then planned a bit about the Stake Mission. It was sweet. Well, I’m really thankful to be able to learn and work in this program. I still need to learn a lot. This is a little note from Jenna.
Have you ever seen the sunshine on freshly fallen snow?
Or the beauty of a rainstorm that gave birth to a bright rainbow?
Have you ever seen the moonlight make a summer evening glow?
If not then you are missing what God meant for you to know.
Have you ever touched the gentle softness of a babe whose newly born
Or a fluffy little puppy who’s lost and all forlorn.
Have you ever seen all the potential that’s hiding in you and me?
If not then you are missing what God meant for you to see.
Have seen the wind so softly run her fingers through your hair.
I have seen your face grow happy when I tell you that I care.
And I know that God is present to help us when we fall
And I always will keep growing cause there’s Godhood in us all.
Have you seen the majestic mountains loom against the sky.
Have you seen a loving mother put a stop to an infant’s cry?
Miracles happen daily if we’ll but look and see.
But the greatest gift we’re given is that God love you and me.
Yes I know the Lord, he loves us, and he’ll walk right by your side.
If we come to know his treasures, and take him for our guide.
And I always will keep growing, with trials I’ll not resign.
For if I’m true and faithful and the universe is mine.
April 3rd, 1995 – Monday P-day
Today was a pretty sweet day – kind of. We got up & cleaned the house. We left to go eat at 12:00pm but we got dissed by the office Elders. They left us behind. The whole office was mad at one another. Un relajo! We ate at a place called Fried Green Bananas. The price was 8.000 sucres. They waited for a long time to bring out our food. And when they did it was so small. I ordered a submarine sandwich & they brought out a biscuit sandwich. It was ridiculous & I was mad. We went to the President’s house and played racquetball (I got whooped by Bean and Hanks) It was fun. We took a shower WITHOUT thongs! (flip flops) and it was good! I ate peanut butter & honey sandwich and homemade cookies & cake! It got me homesick. Tonight we had a Sweeper meeting. Elder Severson worries me! He sometimes tries to discuss & change President’s ideas. He also doesn’t seem to like our ideas (Hanks & I) He also said a few things against his own program that he’s teaching. He doesn’t pay me much attention & doesn’t respect my opinions. It’s too bad. He seems cool but just doesn’t want to be cool with me. I haven’t done anything. I just need to remember to always respect him & show love. I’ll just be Christ – like & cool. I know all will be well. I’m tired and happy because I read letters from my family!
April 4th, 1995 – Tuesday
Today was a day of learning. We were in the office most of the day, thinking of our program & what we needed to do. President Farnsworth talked to us a few times, he wasn’t too happy about the success in InaQuito. I felt bad because I always wanted to see success & him too. We talked to him later & figured a few things out. Tonight we spent 2 hours looking for a Ward Mission Leader’s house. It was brutal. The addresses here are ridiculous. Luckily we found a member who led us about 6 blocks on the other side of the city. Tonight Elder Hanks & I read our Patriarchal blessings together. Elder Hanks is a neat man & will be a great leader. He has a lot of great promises to fulfill on this earth life. He helped me see a lot of different things in my blessing. It’s tough to think of how we were in the Pre-existence. I wonder what I did to be able to receive so many blessings. I realize a lot of my potential so I just need to get serious, get to work, and obtain it.
April 5th, 1995 – Wednesday
Today we were big time busy. We gave 3 capacitations & got a lot done. We made some good progress in the Stake & in a few barrios. We aren’t eating good at all. We usually eat lunch & nothing else. I’m going to be a skinny scrub. We visited a reference tonight with Sister Nelson & her comp. It was cool to see Sister Nelson again. She’s doing sweet! We’re getting to bed late tonight because we passed by the office to make copies. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day! We’ve got a lot of capacitations to do!
April 6th, 1995 – Thursday – Jueves (Birth of Christ, Organization of the Church)
Wow. We were all over today, man! We capacitated the missionaries in Zone Santa Ana. We then went to the office to plan two capacitations. The two are going to be sweet. After that (took until 4pm) we went to Solanda’s Correlation Meeting. We capacitated there, & then we went to a meeting with all the Stake Missionaries. It was pretty sweet. Well, we’re all over in taxis racking up a big bill for the mission. President Farnsworth gives us back our $$ we spend on travels because we spend so much. I’m learning a ton as a missionary. I love it. Tomorrow we have Quito Conference & we’re capacitating. We’re going to play a dating type game. I’m tired & we still need to plan these capacitacions!!
April 7th, 1995 – Friday
Today was a big day. In the morning we capacitated on the importance of member referrals from new converts. We did a “choose your source” game. I was an old burned out member, Hanks – the new convert and Pearce a missionary who likes to do everything on his own. It was pretty funny. The sisters asked us questions and we answered them. Well, I talked for about 12 minutes and Elder Ashworth said he was proud of me. He said it was excellent and that I talked smooth Spanish. I hope so. The Lord has blessed me so much. We then had a capacitation with the ZL’s. It was on Shadow Leader. It’s where leaders build others up to be leaders. Elder Hanks & I talked on our program. We also did a relay race with the references which was something fun and different for the ZL’s. We then went to Solanda with President Castillo and we talked to 3 LM’s (Ward Mission Leaders – Lideres Misionales). President Castillo is so funny. He’s a humble man and a man of action. Well, tomorrow we’re changing houses. It’s good timing because the office Elders are complaining about us (dishes, more messy house, no room, etc). Whatever. When they start cleaning up after themselves then I’ll listen to their whinings.
April 8th, 1995 – Saturday
Today was a quick day. This morning we packed up to get ready to go. We then went to President Castillo’s house. We had a good productive meeting with him, and made a little progress. After we went to the office (hacer copias…make copies) and then to the house. We packed up and cleaned the house. There have been a lot of contention in that house. We then went to the Colon Stake Missionary meeting. We capacitated (trained) on showing empathy. It was good but I didn’t feel that I did too well. I need to study more so that I’ll know exactly what to say. Tonight we changed houses to VillaFlora. It’s small. We’ll probably move to Chillogallo. We’ll see. Man, Elder Hanks explained to me logically that there is no one else but me to be Assistant when Beck leaves. We’ll see. It’ll be an honor to serve in that calling but where I’m put I’ll serve hard.
April 9th, 1995 – Sunday
Today was a sweet day! We left early to get to President Castillo’s house to start out a split. We had to cover 5 wards, and a lot of their meetings overlapped. I needed to go with Wady (High Counselor over missionary work) but I went with Juan Carlos. We got a lot done & checked up on each ward. I didn’t eat all day, a big reason because I missed a split with Wady. Elder Hanks got a lot done with his assigned Wards too. Afterwards we went to a Baptismal Service for VillaFlora & Atahualpa. Man, the spirit was so strong. A father & son were baptized to make their family complete. It was so special to see the changes that they decided to make in their lives. I was jealous of the missionaries because they get to baptize. I started to wonder why the Lord only gave me 4 and a half months to proselyte. I know the answer. It’s because what we’re doing is much more important. By doing our work, the mission will see many more baptisms. Elder Hanks told me that the reason I was put as sweeper rather than someone else was because I was prepared. I didn’t need to have other experiences like others. I was ready & could handle the situation. That’s a good compliment. He also shared a scripture in Matthew 5: 14 – 16 about the light on the candlestick. He told me that they didn’t keep me in Puyo, but rather brought me here to Quito to be a “light” for the mission. I don’t know. All I know is that the Lord has a lot of confidence in me which is humbling. He’s prepared me my whole life to be a leader. My mom always pushed me, and also our move to England gave me opportunities to lead. If I would’ve stayed in California, I bet I wouldn’t have run for leadership positions. I know the Lord lives, I pray for his help in all I do & say.
April 10th, 1995 – Monday P-Day
Today was a good productive day. We got up at 4:30am, showered in FREEZING cold water! I studied a bit, but didn’t get much done. I opened up my package & letters. It was like Christmas morning! I got a Spanish-English translator which will help me so much! We then studied as comps and planned out basically the whole week. We then went shopping & bought us some good food (which is about gone now!). We spent 79,000 sucres. But man, we need to eat. We never eat much. We then went to look for Hank’s shoes (the Chillogallo dude didn’t have them ready yet. Like always!) We got our haircuts from a lady that had such a deep voice. I bet she’s a man – Seriously! We wrote some letters (Fam, Jenna, G-ma, and Verla). We went to the Santa Ana Noche de Hogar (Family Home Evening). It was good. When Elder Constantine and Elder Erickson bore their testimonies, I felt the spirit very strongly. I love that feeling. It’s neat because just for a moment you can understand a little part of your calling as a missionary. We have no clue how important we are. This week I pray we have success! Tomorrow Leroy will go to the temple with Tiffany. I’m proud of him & happy because he now has the keys to enter the Celestial Kingdom. Knowing Leroy he’s probably thinking more of the Honeymoon. 🙂 He’s a stud & I love him. He’s a good example for me. I just follow his footsteps.
April 11th, 1995 – (Leroy and Tiffany’s Wedding Day)
It’s now 8:45pm Ecuador time, about 6:45pm Utah time and my family should be at Leroy’s reception. Too bad I can’t be there but I’ve got the best excuse. I can’t believe Leroy has got his woman and is going to be having his honeymoon. They won’t get much sleep. Anyway, I still don’t picture Leroy hitched. It hasn’t hit me yet. Maybe when I come home & he has kids. Anyway, enough of worldly things. Today we got a few things done. We went to the office today to talk to President but he was in Otavalo. So we got a little done. We ate all you can eat Pizza for 8,500 sucres. It was aight. We then went to President Castillo’s house & we had a meeting (a bunch of overweight ladies were doing aerobics in the other room). We had a Ward Mission Leader Meeting. Only one of the 10 attended. Today I’m really seeing the importance of studying. I need to get knowledge so that my tongue is loosed during capacitaciones (training sessions). Also, President needs good leaders and studying is a big part of it. I need to be available and instrumental for President. Man, I study & all but not too effectively. This’ll change. Hey Leroy, congratulations bro – I love you, and take it easy tonight!
April 12th, 1995 – Miercoles
Well, Leroy’s on his honeymoon. Still hasn’t hit me. This morning I was very tired and slept until 6:00am. My comp said that I was talking in my sleep. Stress of the mission. This morning we did a split with Elder Poplawski & Rodriguez. I went with Poplowski. It was fun but I’m worried about Poplowski. He’s into the world a lot. After our split (we taught 2 charlas , one for 2 hours to a model and one that had the spirit super strong). Elder Hanks & I went to a meeting with Franklin (Solanda). After, we found Wady (Stake Rep of Missionary Work). He is such a pure stud. He’s cool & we’re always joking with him. He’s our connection with the Stake President and we’re now going to work under his command. We’re excited because with him we’ll get things done quick. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself because I haven’t been out in the field much. I know the Lord has a reason. I’m so lucky to be able to be a missionary! To have so many people look up to me & rely on me is touching. I’m so lucky to be a part of this work, let alone to be a leader. I pray the Lord helps me to understand quick and good so that I can be effective. Man, I just have a grand desire to be a powerful missionary and help this mission to be the best. (IN THE WORLD!!)
April 13th, 1995 – Thursday
Today was a good day. We went to the Zone Study this morning & we then had a meeting with Wadi Tupiza. He’s such a stud! He’s the high counselor over missionary work for the Santa Ana Stake. We talked a lot & have found out that he’s a good connection to the Stake President. I’ll have fun with Wadi from here on out. He talks a lot of English. We then went to the office, worked on the computer and then to correlation meeting. It took 2 hours to get to Solanda from the office because of traffic. Today it rained really hard. The thing about Quito is it has a lot of hills. So when it rains, the water all goes to the bottom. So there are places with a lot of water! Tonight we had a Stake Missionary meeting. We gave the missionaries their plaques and the Stake Presidency set them apart. We got a lot done and we are excited!
April 14th, 1995 – Good Friday
Today was a day of celebration! This is called the Holy Week! There were a few drunks & tomorrow will be worse! My comp 7 I went to the office today. Man, there was no spirit at all there! It was weak. Elder Ashworth got mad at me & Hanks for joking with him. The thing is – he’s always joking & ripping on us, but when we do it back he’s offended. That’s why I don’t like to be in that type of buddyship. Someone always takes it seriously. Well, it seems like the office doesn’t like Hanks & I too much. Oh well, I’ll just keep working hard, serving the best I can. Today we went to the Solanda Ward to eat Fanesca. It’s a traditional meal. It was quite gross. It had a fish carcass in the soup with all sorts of grains. Then they gave us mashed potatoes with onions, lettuce, and cheese & egg. That was alright. We were really cool, nice, & outgoing to the Members and right then & there they started to give us referrals! Just goes to show the importance of relationships with the members. Today Elder Hanks & I were talking to the youth, and a stake missionary named Carmen came up to me and started to cuddle up to me. :O Well, needless to say I got away quick. Hanks was laughing at me. She’s a cute girl too. Satan doesn’t quit. We talked to Pres. Castillo a bit. That man is incredible. He’s so humble & has had a few neat stories. He’s so excited to share the Gospel. Tonight on the bus we were going toward the back. A cute little girl (looked just like Jenna as a baby) said “HOLA!!!” to me. I looked at her Dad & he was kind of embarrassed & smiling. I felt the Spirit really strong & just saw them as “Escogidos” (chosen). I told Hanks & we took out the reference (referral). I just knew that they were people ready. Humble, Happy, and with happy kids. It’s neat to work with the Spirit. I’m having a lot of fun with Hanks. Our only problem is we always got ladies (even married) looking at us! We have a lot of fun together. He’s got patience with me because I always get in moods. He’s a stud. He’s helping me to learn a lot!
April 15th, 1995 – Saturday
Today was an interesting day. This morning I got up at 5:15am & showered – freezing cold. We had a meeting today with the Ward Mission Leader of Villa Flora. He’s a stud & we’ll have success with them. Afterwards we had a split. I was with Elder Rodriguez. He’s a stud & is going to be a good leader. We had lunch at a members house and Elder Poplowski started flirting big time with a sister, talking of marriage & sex. It was so ridiculously uncalled for. He’s clueless. I then talked with Elder Rodriguez and (his comp) Elder Poplowski really has problems. I just feel a lowering of spirit around him. I’m concerned about his attitude & understanding of his calling. Tonight we had an activity in Solanda and it was fun. We even had a paper ball fight & old women were chucking paper balls. It was a fun night. I’m tired & got stomach prob’s.
April 16th, 1995 – Sunday
Wow, man, what a day. 1st of all we took off at 6:45am to have a split with Wadi and President Castillo. Wadi was sick. We assisted in Villa Flora & Santa Ana to get the members excited to give references. We came home from Turubamba (the Elders didn’t go to Correlation Meeting – they’re toast). We came here to eat, and Elder Fernandez called me in to talk with him and Elder Rodriguez. Rodriguez was sick & tired of his comp & wanted to go home. He couldn’t live with Poplawski because of the things he would do. He wanted a change. Anyway, I told Hanks about the situation & he went & talked to Poplawski. Elder Hanks was in there for 3 ½ hours. He told Pop’s everything, so Pop’s came & confronted me. Kind of caught me off guard, but I let him know what was up. I felt bad because I kind of lied to Rodriguez & Fernandez and I expected them to be ticked. We went to Santa Ana’s taller, and we returned. Pop’s confronted me again because they (Pop & Rod) had talked. They both came out with different stories. They actually weren’t different but I cleared it up & think I let Poplawski know. I just got to let him know w’sup. Well, I don’t like these situations, but it gives me experience. Rodriguez still wants a change.
April 17th, 1995 – Monday
Today was a sweet day. I slept in until 6:30am (rebel). I was still tired. Elder Hanks & Poplawski wrestled for a while. Today we went up to the Virgin Mary of Quito. We hiked up there & some old ladies told us not to go up there or we’d get robbed. We recently had seen a dude standing on top of a bus with a gun! Weird. Anyway, we went up there & we could see all of Quito (North and South) It was so pretty up there. After hanging out there, taking a lot of pictures, we went to La Cima de La Libertad. It was high up & we took more pictures. It was very pretty and peaceful. It rained & we got soaked. We came home, sat in bed under our covers and wrote letters. Tonight we were on our way to Chillogallo & the sisters Nelson and Arevalo got on the bus. A man was eyeing Sister Nelson so she walked to the back of the bus. He was staring her down so Hanks told him to chill out. We were getting off the bus, and Hermana Arevalo was bout to get off, but the bus driver took off & shut the door! The bus took off out of our sight! So m, Hanks & Hermana Nelson walked 2 blocks & met up with her. It was funny. Well this morning I talked with Rodriguez & Poplawski. They don’t like each other. It’s a shame. They don’t want to be comps, but it looks like they’re trying.
April 18th, 1995 – Mom’s Birthday Tuesday
My mom is an old lady , man. I think she turns 48 this year. Today we got a bit done. We went to the office today, worked on our papers. We also talked to President (all the Sweepers) for 2 hours. I feel a lot of respect from President. I feel like I’m losing respect from Elder Ashworth. I think I’ve offended him in some way. I’ll have a talk with him. Tonight we had a meeting with Paul (Lider Misional de Santa Ana). It was a good meeting. He’s a stud. We also talked to President Castillo. He’s such a special man. He needs to learn a lot & break a lot of traditions, but he’s an incredible man. I’m tired & learning everyday. I’m glad the Lord has a lot of patience with me.
April 19th, 1995 – Wednesday
Today was a good day. This morning we got an eye appointment set up for me. I’m still seeing a lot of spots. This morning we studied all morning. It was a good study. I talked to Elder Poplawski. He and Elder Rodriguez read the talk by Spencer W. Kimball. They’re still going to try it seems. This afternoon we looked at a ton of fotos, apologized to a sister because we didn’t show up for lunch, and we were dogged (3 times) by Ward mission leaders. Tonight we had a meeting with President Casitllo & Wady Tupiza. Wady ripped President a hole a few times. We’ll talk with him. I’m learning a lot on how to deal with people in meetings & with leaders. The Lord is giving me a ton of learning opportunities.
April 20th, 1995 – Thursday
This morning we went to Zone Study. I learned that I need to teach with more Christ-like attributes. I also liked a quote that Elder Desmond said, “We’re here to bring souls to Christ, however, we’re also here to bring Christ to souls.” I liked that. We next went to a shoe maker up in Chillogallo where Elder Hanks chewed him out. The dude told Hanks that he’d have his shoes done in 2 weeks & it’s been 4 months. That’s why Ecuador is a 3rd world country. Clueless in business. We then went to Dr. Staehli to get my eyes checked & he said my spots are normal. He said everyone gets them. He told me to take 15 mg of Zinc everyday and to wear sunglasses. He then told Elder Hanks & I to stop eating at members & investigators houses. Not that easy. President Castillo & I went on a split. This man is incredible. He taught me a lot. We went to Solanda’s Correlation Meeting (mas o menos) We then talked to Juan Carlos. Afterwards, President Castillo & I talked for a while. Elder Hanks & Wady Tupiza (Barrio Turubamba) got back, they had done an Open House with 27 people there! 10 families! This Journal is about done. (meaning the actual book had few pages left)
April 21st, 1995 – Friday
Today was a…… day. This morning we went up the mountain with the Sisters Nelson & Arevalo to get the scriptures of Elder Hanks. We then went to President Castillo’s house. Man, he was testing our patience today. He likes to talk, tell stories, & get off the subject at times. I’m learning a ton of patience. The thing is, the man is incredibly humble and wants to learn. Everytime I start getting impatient or something I feel bad because he’s a great man and is chosen of God. We stayed there from 10am until 3pm (forever in other words). We did get a lot done. We then came home & slept for an hour. We then left to an Open House in the Enriquez house in Chillogallo. The Elders took out 12 references. The Enriquez family then gave us popcorn, crackers & hot chocolate milk. It was so neat. They’re a special family! I love Ecuador. I’m so lucky to be here. I need to count my blessings. I hope I’m doing as well as the Lord wants!
April 22nd, 1995 – Saturday
This morning I was tired. We went looking for Julio Zulete because he didn’t show up for Correlation (again). We went to his house & we basically forced a meeting on him. This afternoon we talked to Franklin. He’s got a powerful force in Solanda. 15 Stake Missionaries, and they can take out a lot of references. We went to a Stake Music Festival. It was sweet. Diego from Quito Lamanita was a lead singer for a sweet band. It was real good! We then took off with Elder Constanine & Elder Erickson to do 5 interviews. I interviewed an old lady. It was a neat experience. She talked a lot & I had to cut her off a few times. She hadn’t assisted church yet, but she promised to assist each Domingo. She cried, telling me of her son’s death. It was a really neat experience. I felt the Spirit very strongly. Afterward we took off to an Open House. I sat with a 5 year old girl in my arms. I love this people here. I’m so lucky to be able to serve here. I really pray that the Lord blesses me. I want to change Ecuador for the better. I pray that the Lord will bless me to be an instrument in His hands. I want to be a very effective missionary. I want to change lives. I want to help missionaries. I want to help the Quito Mission. I hope the Lord blesses me with knowledge and wisdom & ideas so that I can help the Lord’s work progress much faster. He’s blessed me so much. He’s carrying me with my job as a Sweeper. I still don’t feel qualified, but I’m comfortable because I know that the Lord wants me here. I want to do the best I can, make all the right decisions, and be very effective. I know that only the Lord can help me with those desires. He’s blessed me so much. I can actually communicate without a problem. The Lord blesses me a ton.
April 23rd, 1995 – Sunday
Wow, today was a long old day! We got a ton done too! We started out with splits with Wady Tupiza and President Castillo. I went with Wady. We basically attended every ward possible and talked to the Ward Mission Leaders. Man, we’re progressing so much. Chillogallo Ward had 8 baptisms today. The work is really progressing. The Lord is blessing us incredibly! Tonight we went to a Hospital to give a blessing to the Grandma of Paul Duque (Ward Mission leader – Santa Ana). It was a great opportunity to feel the spirit & to serve. We planned a ton tonight. We’re so tired. Today we’ve seen a lot of clashes between Ward Mission Leaders & Missionaries. Not cool. Tomorrow is P-day. I’m excited to get letters.
April 24th, 1995 – Monday P-day
Today was a sweet day. We got up kind of early but not too early. We studied a bit & read letters. We pick up more letters from the ZL’s in Chillogallo. My family is great. The wedding was a neat experience. Leroy told them that it was a perfect day, except that I wasn’t there. I wish I could’ve been but I’m doing the right thing. Leroy is tearing it up at the Y. He’s playing sweet. Scott Haws is playing ball there pitching!! Man if he can play ball there I know that I can. We’ll see if Dad or Leroy hooks me up. Today we went to the Guitig plant. It’s a place where they make carbonated water. I don’t like the drink but I want to learn to like it because it’s cheap! We took a lot of pictures there & we saw a lot of cool sights. We got home & got a lot done (wrote letters). We then went to the District Meetings of Santa Ana. They were pretty good. Some wards are giving out a ton of references and others no. We’ve still got a lot of work to do. Tonight we found out that we’ve got Quito Conference this Friday. Then the next we’ve got a conference with Jay E. Jenson. It should be sweet. Man, I’m lucky to be a missionary, to have my calling as a Sweeper, to be able to work with Elder Hanks. Whoever has read this – Missions are the BEST! I’ve learned so much. I know that this church is true. If I sound negative or if I’ve said a few things wrong in this journal, learn from my mistakes. Don’t wait to do the same mistakes and learn then, learn from my mistakes. Now! It’s easier & faster.
April 25th, 1995 – Tuesday
W’sup? I’m back. I just finished the blue journal. I did this in a confusing way. My bad. Today was a sweet day. 1st of all we went to the office & got a lot of copies done. We finally talked to President (they were moving the office) and it was a good talk. He’s such a good man and is so close to the spirit. I look up to him a lot. We went to President Casitllo’s house. He started to talk about his leaders again. We’ll need to teach him more about the line of authority. We went to Santa Ana & we talked to Paul Duque (Ward Mission Leader). We then went with Wady to President Castillo’s house. We had a short meeting, and got a little done. Tonight we came home & we told Pickrell about his change. He & Poplawski were ticked. They were complaining a ton about the change & it kind of ticked me & Hanks off. Anyway some unnecessary comments were made. Pop’s is kind of playing an attitude with me. Whatever. Well, all the changes are now clear and things are tranquilo. The mission is a unique experience. I’m learning a lot. We gave blessings to Sister Nelson & Arevalo. Cool experience.
April 26th, 1995 – Wednesday
Today was a good day. We got up & studied a bit. I really don’t find too much time to study. It’s good to get a good study in. Well, we took off to the office again to get my sunglasses. I met Elder Brown there. He’s a stud. We saw a lot of Elders looking at me, sizing me up and all. We couldn’t get my shades (prescription) so we called home (Sister Sanders called) to get my prescription. Tonight President Castillo & I left out together. We went to Villa Flora’s Correlation Meeting. The Ward Mission Leader didn’t show up. 🙁 We next went to look for the Sister’s Nelson & Arevalo. We were supposed to meet them in an apartment. We got there & there were about 10,000 apartments! There was no way to find them. President Castillo never gave up. We did talk awhile. We took a taxi to his house (after waiting for an hour for the sisters) We ate & I talked with his wife a bit to help her understand a few things about the gospel. They have a special family. We are moving along slowly but surely in the Santa Ana Stake.
April 27th, 1995 – Thursday
This morning we got up at 5:00am & left to the ZL’s house. We planned a capacitation. We felt the spirit so strong, man! We got the point of New Convert referrals across! We then did a split with Bybee & Desmond. They are two humble Elders, and good guys. We ate at the Mesa’s house. They were nice people. We next came home, studied & left to Solanda’s Correlation Meeting which was sweet. Wady Tupiza was on a power trip tonight telling everyone what to do. I’ll talk to him. I think he forgot the commitment Pattern. We went to an Open House tonight with Sister Nelson & Arevalo. Last night President Castillo and I were pretty close to finding their house. The Open House was good. The sisters didn’t direct much. I don’t know w’sup with Sister Nelson. She’s not the shy type. The Acuna family was very nice. The owner looked like Adrian on Rocky. Kind of homely, but she was so nice. A neat lady. Sister Sanders talked to my mom to get my glasses. My mom loves me! 🙂 Elder Hanks & I are having fun together. We laugh a lot and we work better and better together. He’s a stud.
April 28th, 1995 – Friday
Right now I’m in a bad mood because I’m tired. Poor Elder Hanks has to deal with me. Today we were at the office for awhile. We talked with President Farnsworth & he once again said that this summer we’re hurting for leaders. Man, that eats me up inside. I want to be prepared so that President has a lot of confidence in me. This afternoon we came home & Hanks talked with Elder Poplawski. Poor guy is seeing problems come about because of flirting. Elder Hanks & I had a good study. I kind of realized how special we really are. If you think of all the people that chose to be on Christ’s side are now living in millions of different worlds. The strongest spirits were sent here to this world because this is where they sacrificed Jesus Christ. This was the only world wicked enough to do it. On this world, in the Last Days, the valiant were sent here to be able to live in the most wicked time. The next most valiant would be the church members. Out of all of these valiant spirits only a few go on a mission. They’re the chosen of the valiant. If you could just imagine how special we actually are. Then, on top of that, to be a leader among the chosen is something mind boggling. I don’t know what I did in the pre-existence but the Lord has blessed me a ton. He has helped me want to be the best I can. I have this deep desire to be righteous. I want to be like the Apostles, just because they’re so righteous and so smart & so spiritual & so right. I’m realizing little by little my potential. I’m very far from it but I’ll keep striving for it. I’m so glad to be an Elder, and I feel very privileged to be a leader. Man, I pray that the Lord guides my words, thoughts & action. I want to help Him & His work so bad. I pray I can. I love this work. I’m blessed all day & every day. Even during the tests.
29 of Abril, 1995 – Saturday (10 months as a missionary)
Today was a day I soon won’t forget. I got up today with a weird feeling. Almost the same as yesterday. I felt a little weird inside & spiritually…..confused. I just didn’t feel complete as a missionary or like something was going to happen! My thoughts were all over the place, and I had a feeling to cry. It was as if something really big was going to happen. I prayed for strength, to have much more of the Spirit, to be a better missionary. I promised I’d quit doing the little sins & that I’d control my thoughts. Elder Hanks too felt really unusual. Well, we left the house to catch a bus. Elder Pickrell & Fernandez told us that a boy had been hit by a car. Well, we saw the crowd gathered and I had a feeling that this was what the Lord wanted me to see. To wake me up. Well, Elder Hanks & I looked & there was a boy, with a newspaper over his body laying down. All you could see was blood and his brain 5 feet away. Needless to day I was big time shook up and started to think of life, the plan of salvation, death, my family, and I started to evaluate my life. I need to make a lot of changes. Life is so fragile. It helped me realize how close each & everyone of us are close to death. I re-evaluated my way of living & have decided to make a few changes. I know that the Lord has something big time prepared for me. I think he wants me to shape up so that I can be a better instrument in His hands. I don’t know exactly what he wants me to do, but he sure is preparing me to find out. He’s humbling me and is helping me to remember Him. I pray I’m worthy for whatever is going to happen, and ready.
April 30th, 1995 – Sunday
I just got finished thinking a bit. For a good while before I was a little scared inside because I wasn’t being as obedient as I know I should’ve been. I would think a lot of the scriptures, and how the men would always receive punishments or tough trials when they weren’t righteous. They would receive these things to be reminded of the Lord & to be humbled. I was always scared that something would happen to me to frighten me to repent, or humble me to repent. At times I even asked for an experience that would change my attitude, that would help me to drop a lot of my carnal desires & sins. Well, the Lord did answer me. Because Elder Norris told me that experience of Satan which helped to make a change for the better. But I still wasn’t even close. I still had an inner feeling and knowledge that I had to change even more. Well, I kind of put it in the back of my mind, justifying my little sins – I mean, I was spiritually strong enough – Right?? Yesterday, right when I saw that poor kid dead in the street, a song entered my head that said “Do you hear me? I can feel you near me. It’s the answer that I’ve been longing for.” Seeing this boy woke me up. It was the answer that I was needing. It hurts me to think that I didn’t have the common sense or strength enough to repent for myself. The Lord had to humble me through this experience. It’s sad for me to think that one of the reasons for this kid’s death was to help me to re-evaluate my life and repent of the picky things that in my mind weren’t too big of a deal. I just feel so sinful. I really feel that the Lord is telling me to repent so that He can use me a lot better and a lot more. I just have a deep feeling inside that there is something big instore for me. It’s like I’m not complete. It’s very tough to explain, but I feel I’m missing something. I need the Lord’s help to be able to recognize it, or find it, or whatever. I just have a feeling that the Lord wants more of me and from me. I feel so helpless, but I know that the Lord is going to help me to be who He wants me to be. I’ve always prayed for this: “To be the Elder that the Lord wants me to be. To reach my potential.” I sure hope that I haven’t failed the Lord. Everyday I probably do, but he cleans up after me. I love Him. I’m thankful for the love and confidence that He has for me. I pray He helps me. I need it so I can be a good, faithful servant.