December 1st, 1994 – Thursday

Today was sweeeeeet!  Man, we have sooooooo many people to teach!  Today I realized how many people are ready to listen.  We’ve got so many people’s salvation on the line. I’ve realized more than ever how important it is to have the Spirit.  If we don’t have it, we won’t help anymore. Man, my head is spinning. This work is urgent & I pray for the Lord’s help.  Man, that’s all I got to say – there is a ton of things to do! Today I thought a lot about the family and what they’re doing.  I’ve got a sweet family.

 

December 2nd, 1994 – Friday

Ok.  Humbling day.  Today we had plans to teach a lot of charlas.  Every single one wasn’t there except for 2. It was so tough to think of things to do.  We found a lot of references & things, but we didn’t “feel” like we did much. My companion was “desanimado” (without enthusiasm) and when he’s like that he doesn’t talk, and his body language makes him look like he doesn’t want to be there.  Not good for the investigators to see. Tonight we taught Alicia Delgado. I was so dog gone confused with them, I didn’t know where to start. They would ask me a question, I’d start to answer, then another question. I was so confused & lost.  I realized how useless I am. I can’t do nothing if the Lord doesn’t want me to. If I don’t have the Spirit – nothing. If I have the Spirit, but the Lord doesn’t want what I’m doing – nothing. I realized how weak I am. Man, I’m just so helpless.  Right now, all of our investigators and their progress depend on the Lord. I’m going to keep doing all I can, all I know, following the Spirit, but nothing will come about if it isn’t the Lord’s will. I know the Lord wants every investigator baptized, I wonder why He just doesn’t make it easy.  Give ‘em a feeling they’ll never forget. I’m learning that if investigators don’t do their part, I can do all I can but it won’t help them. They need the desire. I just wish the Lord worked easier. I bet He does, but it’s just that Satan is impeding all he can. Satan’s a punk, and today I was big time humbled!  Today a girl asked me if I was from Spain or Argentina because of the way I talked. Sweet compliment, thanks to the Lord.

 

December 3rd, 1994 – Saturday.

I’m soooo tired.  My feet throb, my body is weak from fasting (started at 1pm today) and I have no energy or enthusiasm.  I feel nothing. I should feel bad because tonight we didn’t do nothing! Even when we passed by investigators houses and they were there, we kept going.  Not too good. I pray the next time I’m like this I go to a house and quit feeling sorry for myself. Today we didn’t do much. We did teach a charla and did a few presentations.  Man, I need to improve myself in a ton of aspects. I’m fasting to have the Spirit because I know that with the Spirit we can do miracles. Today we cleaned the chapel. I was thinking of Dad how he said he went to church each week with 2 missionaries & an investigator.  It’d be tough. I was thinking how I had to clean the chapel & how the members have to learn someday but I stopped thinking negative because Dad had to do it all. We walked so much today. It really wasn’t too much but it seemed I was on my feet all day. In the morning we visited “El Pueblo” or “La Isla”.  It’s a little community by a river & jungle. It’s sweet there! We’re going to show a movie (film) to the people there. I bet we have 50 or more there. I want to take pictures of me preaching to the multitude.

 

December 4th, 1994 – Sunday “Happy Birthday Trenton”

This morning I woke up tired & weak.  I wanted to eat so bad. I was mad for this and also that last night I didn’t stop by some people’s houses.  This morning Elder Zambrano & I visited a few people of the program. I was so tired – once again. We came back home & cooked.  I ate like I’d been starving. That’s too bad. The next time I’m going to fast all day Sunday because we don’t do much walking. Church was fine.  Margarita went. We’ll work with her this week. Wilson didn’t show up again for his baptism. 2nd time. Today after church we went to “Las Isla” (Elder Folster, Luna, Rodriguez Fam).  It was so awesome. We had to find a place to do it. Elder Zambrano & I invited everyone we could. There were at least 80 people there. We did the 1st charla with them. It was so sweet.  We took pictures. This is exactly the way I wanted my mission to be – preaching to the multitude. Elder Folster was talking tonight about all the good missionaries in the mission. He rips a lot of people holes.  I hope that people talk good about me in the mission. I just want to have success wherever I go – and to baptize in that place. Tomorrow is P-Day – Yeehawww! We go to Banos.

 

December 5th, 1994 – Monday

Today was frustrating.  P-day too! We got up planning on going to Banos, but we ended up not going and my companion whined all day!  I wrote a few people & was dang bored in the house. We finally got to Banos & my companion was ticked because he wanted to visit all his friends here.  Last night we had district meeting & Elder Delgado was so contentious. He got into Elder Folster’s face which was a mistake. Elder Folster was about to deck him.  The Zone Leaders (Hirst & Sampson) are worried about our district. Elder Delgado is molding Elder Flor into another Elder Delgado. Well, I get to sleep on the ground with this rooster crowing every 5 minutes from 3am on! 🙁

 

December 6, 1994 – Tuesday

Today we woke up in Banos, or is to say we got out of bed.  I bet I didn’t sleep more than 4 hours! Everytime I sleep in Banos I get sick.  This morning my companion told me he wasn’t going to work hard this week because he didn’t get to visit his friends in Banos.  Cry baby. So we went & visited his friends for an hour and a half and got to Puyo at 11am. That drive gets longer & longer & the beautiful sights get lamer and lamer, and the road gets bumpier, windier, and narrower each time I go.  Today, I drew a welcome sign to Elder Flores. We didn’t do much today. We did visit Angel today. We had an appointment to go to Alicia Delgados but instead we presented a message. His story is we were walking from Irene & Raquels and he called us over.  I thought he was joking with us and a bit drunk, but looks like no. Angel prayed & thanked the Lord for the change he was going to have. The Spirit was strong. Today my companion made a lot of decisions on his own. Like big time decisions. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.  Tonight we went to Shell. Once again when we mentioned baptism, Vega Valencia didn’t want to talk about it. Man, I always wonder if I messed up before but I know these are thoughts straight from Satan. He works in a lot of ways and once again I realize the importance of the Spirit.

 

December 7th, 1994 – Wednesday

Today was …… different.  1st of all this morning I was a little frustrated for Elder Folster.  He wasn’t getting respect from Elder Delgado or Elder Flor. They were talking about him behind his back which ticked me off.  Then Flor said, “Folster” & started laughing. So I went in there & basically ripped him a hole. The problem was he didn’t say anything about him so I looked stupid.  I felt bad, but I hope he doesn’t plan on ripping people anymore. Basically I apologized a lot & felt bad about yelling at him at the wrong time. Today I didn’t have much animo to work.  I was thinking a lot. Satan puts a lot of thoughts & doubts in my mind. My companion did a lot of things without talking together. Also when I did something afterwards he would tell me to follow the Spirit next time.  OOOOOOK. Also when I’d try to plan before an appointment he’d tell me to quit trying to use my mind & just use the Spirit. Well, we did a few things but I’ve got to take control. My companion has done a lot in running the show but we aren’t doing all I feel we can.

 

December 8th, 1994 – Thursday

Today was jacked.  This morning we had district meeting and the President called.  The feeling was sick because there was contention. President talked with Elder Delgado & Elder Folster.  Today my companion basically looked ticked. I confronted him on it & he told me he was against Folster. He told me whites get their way in the mission and that Latinos don’t get respect.  He complained a lot & said the only Latino leaders are “Americanized”. Well, he’s basically on Delgado’s side because Delgado has told him a lot of things about Folster that bothers him. Delgado today in a members house was talking about why Latinos hate whites.  Not too cool. I was ready to slap. Tonight we basically argued with Alicia Delgado. After we talked with Angel Corronel and his family. It was sweet. I pray the Lord lets us have the opportunity to bring them in the gospel.

 

December 9th, 1994 – Friday

Today my companion went off on how Elder Folster needed to be humbled and things.  He was right on a few points but he’s the one carrying the load because he isn’t forgiving Elder Folster.  Elder Folster wrote a note to him but he won’t read it. Immaturity, pride, and cluelessness explains why these problems are happening.  I guess this is the 1st problem that all of the Elders have had in their missions. This is all I know how the mission is – MTC (Canter), then Salazar, then Moulton & Luna, then Folster with Luna, now Folster with Flor, Delgado & Zambrano.  I’m annoyed with those three. They are rebels and rip Folster a hole a lot. So I guess the Lord is just preparing me, or helping me to learn to deal with a lot of problems. I can’t wait to work without problems. I wonder when that will be.  Today my companion didn’t want to talk. So I was feeling a bit frustrated because I was being a wimp. So I need to overcome this fear to talk to man. Well, we had a bit of success, but I want to better my program. I’m just going to keep working hard, being outside (not in the house), obeying all the rules, trying to have the Spirit so I can “touch the hearts of many” (Patriarchal Blessing).  Today we worked in “Las Isla”. It’s a poor place, by a river by the jungle. Ecuador is sweet. It’s tough keeping a good attitude. I hope the Lord helps me with this. I just don’t want to be less than what the Lord wants me to, and expects me to be. I don’t want to mess up the plans the Lord has for me. I pray for success. 

 

December 10th, 1994 – Saturday 1:30pm

Well, I’m waiting to leave.  Elder Zambrano is taking his sweeeeeeeeeet time.  He talked to Elder Delgado today & he’s a little cold to me.  I wonder what Delgado said. Well, we did service all morning digging pits out in a field.  A tarantula almost bit a little girl! I got a picture of it. We ate heart and gall bladder of chicken at a tourist resort.  It was sick. Seeing this “Safari” makes me want my parents to come pick me up here to show ‘em around.

 

December 10th, 1994 – Saturday night

Today we did a lot after the Service.  My man wasn’t talking to me at all. I can see right through him when something bothers him.  Well, he told me once again Folster wasn’t a good leader, and that Latinos don’t like white people.  Man, something goes on here in the mission for people to feel this way. I want to try and change this attitude.  Today, Margarita told us she didn’t want us to come back. I didn’t try much to find out why to see if we could keep going.  I just didn’t feel to. It’s too bad that she won’t get baptized. We went to Brother Teran’s house. My companion talked the whole time, and it came down to Brother Teran prays every night to know which church was the true church.  I was prompted to ask him to pray tonight if the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was the true church. He said he would! Oh, I pray he gets his answer. He’s been lost for so long and could help out the church in may ways.  I hope it’s the Lords will. After this my companion & I were back to normal, talking as usual. We had the Spirit felt strong in every place we went. Also, we talked to Robbin and his wife last night. The Spirit was felt strong. I hope they’ll assist (attend) church tomorrow.  Man, I want so bad to be an instrument in God’s hands. If I could I know I would be able to help 1000’s! Today I realized we teach a lot of married couples who are my age. They also have like one or two kids! I couldn’t imagine me having kids!

 

December 11th, 1994 – Sunday – 5:30pm

Wow.  today in the chapel I’ve never felt like this before.  Man, the spirit was not there. People were arguing, teaching false doctrine and being noisy, rowdy, etc.  After church, members were asking if the meeting could be cut from 3 to 2 hours. They were arguing over an activity.  Man, I realized how hard Satan is working on Puyo. I think that today’s dedication in Pelileo had to do with it. Satan’s angels saw they couldn’t be this chapel in Pelileo so they all came here to Puyo.  It was so tough to go through these times. I always marvel in how everything seems to work out with the Lord. I pray for the members, for more leaders, and for me. I’m feeling so useless to the Lord. I want to know how I can affect the people here in Puyo to be baptized, and the members to realize the responsibility in being members.  I know it’s only through the Spirit. Man, the Spirit is the only thing that matters (9:35pm). We went out after casting Satan out of the house. We couldn’t feel the Spirit worth trash. We went to the pueblo (a drunk man stopped us in the street and told us how he fights to kill for a living). After we visited Angel and I didn’t feel nothing of the Spirit.  He asked me a question & I was stumped. We went to the Mamitas. Elder Delgado & Flor called for us to wait there for them to eat, and it was 9:25pm. Yah right. I think they’re mad at me because I told them no, I wanted to obey the rules. I don’t know what went on in Pelileo with the interviews with President, but Delgado & Flor are big time happy. I don’t know how they did it but it looks like they got out of trouble.

 

December 12th, 1994 – Monday

Today I woke up big time desanimado (unmotivated).  I didn’t feel good. I felt like I was without the Spirit.  I wrote letters that probably sounded depressed. We played hoops a bit and I pitched against a wall here.  It jacked the ball up but I’ve got 4 more! We also played indoor soccer. I think that game is super fun now!  I finally scored my 1st goal here. I want to get good at soccer. I never thought I’d say that. We played sports all day at a park here.  It was fun & good to get some exercise in. We came home & Elder Folster returned from Quito with the Pouch. I got letters from the family, President of Stake ($20 too), Mishaun, Kristen Bowman, and the Valiant class in Niceville.  Dad wrote me some good advice today. He told me “feeling discouraged or unsuccessful comes from within you – you determine your attitude and no one or nothing can unless you allow it to. So, trust in the Lord – I dare you to try Him.”  These words are so true. I should always be happy and – BE MYSELF!!! I’ve just got to press forward, and work my tail off. The blessings will come. Maybe I’m just looking for baptisms as the only blessings. I need to notice the little blessings!  I’ve got a ton!

 

December 13th, 1994 – Tuesday

Today was aight.  This morning my companion was in a bad mood, desanimado, etc.  I didn’t care, I just went out & worked. I’d ask for his opinion & he’d say “Don’t matter”.  Thanks for the help. After lunch my man came home & slept. Get a vision man! I won’t ever be trunky.  I promise! Today we did a bit. We went to the “Isla” and the people were cold. Usually they’re all excited to see us.  We taught 2 charlas to Alvedado & Gavo. It was sweet! I felt the spirit good – my companion told me he didn’t! Well, tomorrow we go to Ambato.  I wonder what’ll happen to my companion. When he’s discouraged, he’s very tough but when he’s excited he’s a ton of fun! He needs to forgive Folster.  I don’t know what happened between those two! I’m going to buy a sewn wall tapestry. It’ll be sweet (of Moroni or Second Coming)

 

December 14th, 1994 – Wednesday

This morning we went to Ambato.  I cashed my $20.00 check (45 mil).  We had a conference with President and he talked on the racism in the mission and the problems we’re having.  He was pretty ticked and talked on a lot of things. He hit on “we are all children of God. After the conference, he talked to Puyo about our scuffles we had.  Everything was settled except my man. I had a feeling I should’ve had President talk to my man, and afterward Elder Zambrano was ticked, saying he wanted out. I asked him about President and he called him a “cajon” (idiot) and other things.  Not good. I’ve talked with Folster & he wants him home. I’m going to try and work with him.

 

December 15th, 1994 – Thursday

We were coming home from Banos and the bus broke down!  We ended up walking a lot side a clif until another bus came by.  We got to Puyo and my companion went straight to bed. I told him w’sup and he got out.  Almost the whole day he had a scowl and didn’t say a word. Nice attitude! I tried helping him out, brought up touchy subjects.  I was pretty honest with him but I think I needed to be even more direct. He’s tough. He doesn’t support leaders & he knows his feelings are from Satan.  We did a lot today, also we argued a lot today. He’s got a weird way to think & he always tries to pull out scriptures on me. We asked the Coronel family to be baptized tonight.  I said the 25th of December but they didn’t want it. They’ll pray tonight. I hope the Lord blesses me with animo because my companion sure doesn’t have it. It’s tough trying to help my man out.  I want to have success with him!

 

December 16th, 1994 – Friday  11:40am

I just got finished talking with Elder Zambrano about his attitude.  I basically just went in there and told him his attitude was wrong. Elder Folster & them all left so I could talk to him.  We had a good long talk. I found out that President’s talk really did help him out. He said he has no integrity, and because of this, he has nothing of the Spirit.  He basically feels he is a loser, and can’t help anyone else. He is only worried about himself and nothing of the program. I tried letting him know that he could think of the two at the same time.  Well, we talked a while & basically he’s in a big time repentance process. I told him I wanted him to be happy whenever we’re giving the charlas and to not think of his problems. When we’re in the street, he can think & I won’t bug him about the program.

 

December 16th, 1994 – 10:10pm

Well, today was weak.  We still didn’t have the Spirit.  We need to work on it big time. Magdalena told us she knew the Book of Mormon was true and I didn’t feel nothing.  That’s bad. But we’re going to work on the Spirit. I want to help my comp out so bad. I love him, man. I pray the Lord guides my words & actions.

 

December 17th, 1994 – Saturday

Today was sweet!  This morning we started out big time slow!  Two citas fallado (fell through) in the morning.  We ended up looking for everyone, but just ended up walking all over.  In the afternoon we had 2 open houses and did (Folster is a MESS with food!!  I feel bad for his wife man!) other things. We had a contest today. Whoever said “Fetch” today had to buy the other a piece of candy.  Well, I lost 44 to 18. I bought him 28. Punk. I’ll win tomorrow. Tomorrow, the loser has to shine the others shoes because its the sabbath day.  Tonight was incredible! We first went to Laura Castillo’s house. She’s been inactive for a good while. Tonight we went there & Sister Rodriguez was there talking.  We shared the story “I want to be a missionary” then we sang the song. She was touched and she’s going to go to church tomorrow. Afterwards we went to the Coronel’s house.  We showed the 1st vision and Baptism films. The Spirit was so strong! They know this church is true! They’re escogido and I pray the Lord will continue protecting them. I love them!  Our program is alright. We need to drop some & stick with the chosen. This week we aren’t doing too well. The program is tough to run. My comp is doing fine. I just need to help him.

 

December 18th, 1994 – Sunday

Today was aight.  This morning we invited a few people to church and taught the 1st charla to a man who lives in La Jungle!  He was real receptive and said he’d accept the missionaries. We went to the Mamitas to eat and yes…..we were late to church.  Eats me up! Church was OK. This Rama (Branch) needs help! It’s big time messed up (only on the little things). We had zero investigators in the church and zero inactives.  🙁 After church, I called home to set up a time for next week. I talked to Mom. It was good to hear her voice! I talked the most. I talked to her about sending $$. It sounds like she will!  Leroy is planning on asking Tiffani to marry him this Thursday. That’s cool! I hope he’s happy and found “the one”! Trent’s doing sweet in hoops. I’ll talk to them next week. They’ll call me from the Mamitas house!  Last night we went to Angel Coronel’s house. He was drinking. Great. We then went to Sister Belen’s house. I’ve realized how immature the Latinos we have here in Puyo are! Man, the white book says “Quiet Dignity” and they just joke around like crazy.  It’s a little sad, but that’s the way it is. I wish everyone could realize the importance of this work, even me! (Today we tied in the “Fetch” game). One thing Elder Folster told me about speaking directly and honestly, and not letting things go is – it’s better to show your love & commitment to God by being honest to someone who’s doing something wrong, than it is to sit back – watch – let things go – just to be their friend.  Be loyal to God, don’t change his loyalty for someone.

 

December 19th, 1994 – Monday

TODAY WAS P-DAY!!  I love P-day! This morning I wrote the family a letter.  I like to write them. My comp & I then went to the town and bought souvenirs.  Man, I want to buy a ton of things! I hope my mom sends some $$ so I can send them things.  We ate at Sister Belen’s house, and then went to the Liberty Park and one here in Cumanda. We played soccer (indoor) the whole time.  It’s pretty fun, man! I like it. I’m getting better. The Ecuadorians here are surprised that a lot of North Americans can play pretty good so quick.  It’s just that athletes have a natural instinct to do certain basic things right. I just need to coordinate my feet!! We had our district meeting tonight and it was a joke.  That Latinos have no vision at all. I’m just saying what I’ve observed. They joke around too much, want to be buddy buddy all the time, take things lightly. I mean they don’t realize the importance (eternally) of the work.  I just want to be serious when we’re in the work. No more than 2 years. Tonight I helped my man do some things. We’re getting closer, I hope we can do a lot this week & have the Spirit. Elder Folster says he’s never had a district so bad.  Just don’t have the vision.

 

December 20th, 1994 – Tuesday 1:50pm

Ok.  I just got ripped pretty good by this Janette chick.  She told me she didn’t look at me like an Elder, but just a man.  She said I was without feelings. That kind of hurts that she’d say that.  She just doesn’t know me, because if she did she never would’ve said what she did.  It’s weak to think someone doesn’t think of me as a man of God, but rather just another person.  This is when my self esteem kicks in because I’m hurt.

 

December 20th, 1994 – Tuesday 10:07pm

We just got back from a meeting with a few members about the Christmas activity.  I think they’re realizing that they’ve procrastinated and haven’t organized the “Drama” good (Play).  Now they’re trying to put a lot of trash on us. Today my comp & I did all we could. A dog was chasing a car and its tail got cut off by the wheel.  It was kind of funny. We walked all over the place today. I’m so tired and tomorrow we get up at 5:00am. I’m kind of sick. Man, Elder Delgado has a big time bad attitude.  Right now he’s telling my man a bunch of trash. That sure doesn’t help my man who’s already trunky.

 

December 21st, 1994 – Wednesday **Christmas Activity**

Last night the Latino boys went to the Mamita’s house at 10:30pm.  Get a clue, man. Well I went to bed, and today we got up at 5:00am and went to Ambato.  We were late to the 6:00am bus (b/c of my comp) but we got there. We played Indoor (I stunk) and hoops (didn’t do too good) then we all went to shower in one house for the conference.  President & his wife spoke. We did a play, too. I was a wise man. It went well. We had a testimony meeting and the spirit was so strong! I was touched by a lot of testimonies, and realized what a PRIVILEGE it is to be a missionary.  I’m so lucky. It’s a time for me to grow spiritually. I’m so grateful for Jesus Christ and all of the help that He gives me. I keep going because I know that this is His work. Today on the bus ride we showed 4 videos – 3 witnesses, Worthy to Stand, Johnny Lingo, and Love at Home.  I took out a reference from a lady whose husband was murdered 2 months ago. She wanted to know where he was. I felt so bad for her, yet so good because He was going to hear the gospel. I know she’ll accept it!! During the testimony meeting yesterday the Latinos were joking around. Man, I wish they’d take the things of the Lord more serious.  We ate dinner with the two Zones together. It was good, but we (from Puyo & Banos) had to leave because it was late. I met a guy named Luis on the way back. He said he’ll listen to the missionaries. Now I’m in Banos and won’t sleep because of this stupid rooster outside. I want to kill it! I’ll throw a rock at it!

 

December 22, 1994 – Thursday (Leroy is supposed to ask Tiffany to marry him)

Wow.  Holy Cow.  I am tired.  This morning we woke up in Banos….well, I really didn’t sleep so I guess I didn’t wake.  Anyway, my comp stalled to get up & didn’t want to go. He just wanted to sleep & then visit people he knew in Banos.  We finally left and I took a few pictures on the way home. We had an appointment at 11:00am. My comp stalled, and we left at 11:15am.  The thing that gets me is that we could’ve left at 10:45am. I let him know and he didn’t talk to me all morning. Cry baby. We went to lunch to Damaris and Jorge’s.  They gave me a huge pile of cow stomach. It’s so bad. I didn’t eat it all. After we went home, and all afternoon we ran around helping out the Branch Christmas Program.  Holy Cow we were all over Puyo! Elder Delgado & Elder Flor cooked with the Mamita and Elder Folster & Elder Flores ran around town too. My comp & I went to Angel Coronel’s house and he was drunk (Satan is a pest).  He talked to us for 40 minutes. We got to “La Une” (where we were to have this Christmas Program) at 5:30pm. No one showed up until 6:15pm, and that was Elder Folster & Elder Flores. A bunch of Inactives and investigators were there at 7pm – still no members!!  Man, we didn’t even have our 6:00 rehearsal, and we had no clue how the play was to be. It all came down to – we started at 8pm and basically just “winged it” with the plays.

 

December 23rd, 1994 – Friday

Man, this house stinks because the Latinos put fish remains in the garbage.  Plus – I’m dead tired! I’m so excited to get in the house because I can sleep!  Today went by slow. I didn’t have any animo to work. The whole morning we looked for my scriptures.  I had no idea where they were, but ended up being directed to the taxi driver’s house by the Mamita & they were there.I prayed to find them too!  The Lord is still answering my prayers! He’s awesome. I prayed I could find them so I could help Him out, not me. (but of course they’d help me but if you waks like that the Lord won’t answer you 🙂 ) Today, Elder Delgado told us that Brother Rodriguez was drunk.  He is our Branch Missionary leader. Give me a break! What else will happen here in Puyo? Now, Jannette told me tonight that she liked me and for this she wanted me to leave. I never did feel good with her & now I know why. I don’t want to know what she thinks of me.  I’m going to watch myself with her. It’s Christmas time but it sure doesn’t feel like it. There are no lights. A few people have Christmas trees but not many. THere are no carolers or Santa Clauses. The Elementary schools do a play here of the manger scene. There were a bunch going on.  We didn’t do much today. The problem is, I don’t feel too bad. This morning once again my man was mad at me. He’s so slow in the morning. I can’t wait to talk to my family, Folster talked to his tonight.

 

December 24th, 1994 – Saturday

This morning I got up pretty tired.  I studied a while and then my companion & I studied.  We went to Wilson’s house to do service but “Nope”. So we went to the center and did a few things.  We then went to the Mamitas to eat and man did my comp tick me off!!! We were there for like 2 hours.  He kept telling me that we were not going to leave, etc. Basically he was saying things that he knew bothered me big time in front of the other Elders & the Mamita.  He wanted to watch T.V. and was stalling big time. We got into the house (finally) and I was steamed. I got in his face and told him he had a problem, his attitude was sick, and that he should never make a scene in front of members.  When I calmed down I went in and talked to him again and he tried putting the blame on me. It ended up that he didn’t want to be with Elder Folster or Flores. He doesn’t like them. I know now why we don’t have the Spirit because he can’t forgive or love other people.  Man, I want to help him but he’s really a tough one. We finally got to Banos (late) and we bought a few things here. We started our Christmas Activity and went around passing out candy. Elder Nightingale was Santa Claus. It was good & should help the work out here in Banos.  We ate pizza, came home, opened presents (I got envelopes) and ate ice cream! Right now Elder Sampson (ZL) is talking to my comp. They say he’s going home but I bet he won’t. Man, I love him and feel bad for him. I want to help him but if he isn’t willing to change there isn’t much I can do!  Tomorrow is Christmas. Sure doesn’t feel like it. I bet it feels like it at home. Merry Christmas!!

 

December 25th, 1994 – Sunday – 7:50pm

Wow.  Where do I start?  Right now I’m in a phone building and my comp is calling his family.  He’s big time cold to me and doesn’t talk to me. Last night, after Elder Folster ripped him a hole, I went up there to talk to him.  He told me I was talking bad about him every night. I talked to him awhile & tried explaining to him that I was asking for help & suggestions from Elder Folster.  Well, Elder Zambrano talked to Elder Folster and they left with everything cool. This morning, Big Z woke up and was the same old guy, stalling for time & not talking to Folster.  He has an evil Spirit about him. Well, we left Banos and drove ON TOP of the bus with the luggage. It was so pretty too! We took a lot of pictures. We were drenched because the bus went under a waterfall.  It was fun! There were a lot of gravestones marking where a lot of people drove off the cliff. There are trails up & down these cliffs and mountains and people live all over the mountain. It’s tough to imagine their walk they do everyday. We had to get down from the top before the military checkpoint (Shell) because they’d give us trouble.  We came home & had a baptism and my comp didn’t want to go! Nice attitude, Elder. After the Baptism (Delgado’s) we went to church. Barely anyone was there! We just had a one hour long sacrament meeting because it was Christmas – plus because the Branch President forgot to assign talks. So I talked on Faith and Works. After church we went to the Mamitas, ate, went home, showered and went back & waited for my Mom to call.  She did at 5:00pm! I talked to Leroy 1st! He’s going to marry Tiffany this April or May! He asked her on the O’club beach. (Tiffany, if you read this – he kissed a jap on that beach!!) He said some sweet things. Things that were romantic that I never thought Leroy thought of! He’s doing sweet in baseball and is planning on getting drafted! He told me to keep working hard in the mission because my blessings are coming! I talked to Mere and she’s doing great.  She’s dating some Travis guy who plays ball. She might be at Ricks with me when I get back! That’d be sweet!! She promised she wouldn’t get married til I got home. She better not get married. Liz is doing good! She sounded a bit down about the church and things. I tried to help her out a bit. I need to write her & excite her about the church. Trent is doing cool. He’s driving and has a CD hookup for the car. He’s doing good in hoops and aight in school I talked to Mom & Dad and talked to them about the mission!  Dad helped me to realize that I need to be as prophets of old. To be direct and bold. If people hate you, they’re hating you for being obedient and on the Lord’s side. My Dad told me not to be “in between” so that everything is fine & dandy. If something is going to impede my eternal life or the eternal life of another – say what you need to. He told me to make sure I do it with love. Man I now realize this is my attitude on the mission. If someone is disobedient – tell them. Some people will call me a jerk & things but I know I’m doing it for righteous purposes.  I’ll tell people but still show love. I’m not worried what other people think, just what the Lord thinks! I’m so excited to be obedient, and to make a change for the positive in this mission. It was great talking to my parents. They love me and support me so much. I love them and will keep going – STRONG – for them, for me, and especially for the Lord. I’m ready to face ALL REBELS!!! 🙂 Tonight, Elder Flor received a change. Elder Dickman is coming down here! That’s sweet! He’s cool. I’m excited to see him again! Well, my comp doesn’t like me. I’m going to keep trying but when it impedes the salvation of others – it’s over.  I love this gospel. It is so true. I know I’m going to receive blessings for all the hardships I’ve gone through. I know they aren’t over with!! I’ve got to refuel and get going here in Puyo. I need the Spirit to do it and I’m going to do all I can to have it. REMEMBER: Don’t think what others think, thinks of what the Lord thinks!!!

 

POEM:

*A Poem That Elder Folster Gave Me*

 

Highs and Lows

A mission is a strange experience

It is a trial and a test

A mission throws at you the worst

Yet teaches you the best

I’ve never been so happy

I’ve never been so depressed

I’ve never felt so forsaken

I’ve never been so blessed

I’ve never been so confused

Things never have been so clear

I’ve never felt my Heavenly Father so distant

He’s never been so near

I’ve never been so discouraged

I’ve never been so full of hope

I feel I could go forever

I think I’ve come to the end of my rope

I’ve never had it quite so easy

I’ve never had it quite so tough

Things have never been so smooth

Things have never been so rough

I’ve never travelled through more valleys

I’ve never ascended so many peaks

I’ve never met so many nice people

I’ve never met so many freaks

I’ve never had so many ups

I’ve never had so many downs

I’ve never worn so many smiles

I’ve never worn so many frowns

I’ve never been so lonely

I’ve never had so many friends

Boy!  Ihope this is over soon!

Gosh!  I hope it never ends!

 

December 26, 1994 – Monday

Another tough P-day. I woke up today, studied the Book of Mormon.  I tried waking up my man before 6:30am and to pray for the chosen at 6:40am.  He wouldn’t get up, but I did my part. Elder Zambrano didn’t talk to anyone at all.  I asked him what he wanted to do & he said “Study all day closed up in the house!” OOOOOK.  So I wrote some letters and organized some things. After lunch we went to the town center. He was walking all fast & not saying a word.  Well, he called his family and talked to his brother. He came out a different man – excited, talking. I guess he was worried a lot about his family.  He even told me that his parents didn’t want to talk to him. Now he feels a lot better. We did a few errands in the town center, I bought a few souvenirs, and we came home.  I prepared a capacitacion on “Punctuality”. We went to the District Meeting. I learned a lot and the Spirit was felt but my comp wasn’t listening and was making faces like (Get me outta here faces).  At the end he shared a scripture in the Bible basically saying he didn’t feel the Spirit. Well, we talked for about an hour. Elder Zambrano, Elder Folster, Elder Flores and I talked about a lot of things.  I found out I did a lot of things incorrectly. I wrote in Elder Zambrano’s goal book. He wrote something bad about the Elders, but it’s none of my business and I shouldn’t have written in it. I also talked with Elder Folster a lot.  The next time, I will just tell the person directly and not go about it in different ways. What I learned tonight is if I care about someone, and they aren’t doing things correctly – tell them because you care. Also, if something bothers me about someone – tell them.  Don’t beat around the suh – tell them. It’s so important to be direct. If not, Satan starts to work BIG TIME on people. We begin to tell other people of the things that bug us about this person. That’s from Satan. It is better to tell them face to face. Then there are no hard feelings hidden and the healing or correcting process can begin.  If you tell someone something directly, they’ll have no doubts of what you think and they will give you much more respect. WooooWeee. Learn something new everyday.

 

December 27th, 1994 – Tuesday (Elder Dickman got here)

Today I got up at 6:00am.  I was pretty tired. I studied a bit & we had comp study.  My comp didn’t seem to change much at all. He had a bad attitude today and didn’t talk at all during presentations.  We didn’t do much today. I had no energy today & fell asleep for like an hour. I hope my comp changes quick. This work is important.

 

December 28th, 1994 – Wednesday

Wow.  Today was tough.  Man, we didn’t do much!  This morning we painted the upstairs and bathroom of Sister Estella Bravo Moreno’s house (the Mamita).  Actually, only Elder Folster, Elder Flores and I painted. My comp watched T.V. and sat around. Slacker.  Well, we ate at Jannette’s house and she once again was telling me she was in love with me. Ooooo gross. Everytime we are there she talks of drinking or men.  I don’t feel good around her at times. This afternoon we didn’t do much. Irene told us she didn’t want us to visit her anymore. A man told us to never come by his house again or he’d bring a stick the next time.  I told him to have a great day. (I would have whooped him soooooooo bad, but……) We talked to Albelardo and he wouldn’t answer my questions. I had a series of questions in my mind to help him with his doubt, but everytime I asked he talked about something else for 5 minutes!  Answer my question!!!! 🙂 Because of being in his house for so long, we were late to Alicai Delgado’s house. She told us how terrible her kid was because he broke her glasses. I tried telling her to be patient and I shared a few experiences about my mom. After her house, we went looking for references in never never land!!  And also – my comp wasn’t talking to me at all, looked bored in the charlas, and everytime I asked him for suggestions he said “No me importa” (I don’t care) or “Como sea!” (However, whatever, etc) So he sure doesn’t help me. I was big time discouraged at the thought of having no help from anyone. Right now I realize that this is to help me out in the fastest way to learn.  I just have to “do it” and I’ll learn along the way. Plus, I’ve got the Lord to help me and the Holy Ghost (even through at times it is hard to feel) I also need to have more fun. I think my comp never talks to me because I don’t talk much to him. I’ll just start talking of funny things in my life. I’ll be myself but won’t go outside my bounds to be a buddy. The work, and the Lord is too important.  I’m thankful for all that I’m learning right now. I want to be the best missionary as quick as I can. Elder Goettsche has been Comp Mayor (Senor Comp) for a month now. He’s sweet! I hope we can work together someday! I need to keep trying to be the best missionary. Satan tries to get me down at times and discourages me because I’m not baptizing. I wonder why, but I shouldn’t! I’ll just keep on pressing forward in the work!  Tomorrow we don’t have anything planned. I feel bad because I’m not doing as well as I want. I need help from my comp, but it seems he doesn’t care. He’s talking to his family now. I hope this helps him more than hurts him. He wants to go home, and he has two months left. I HAVE TO KEEP A POSITIVE, EXCITED AND GOOD ATTITUDE!!! The other Elders say this is a tough time to work (the end of December). The people say “Come back the other year, etc”  OK. I’m tired and need to pray.

 

December 29th, 1994 – Thursday

Man, this morning I had “ZERO” animo.  I felt like crying, then not, then yes!  Man, today my mind was thinking on all sides, of all things.  Today we didn’t do much. What I learned today was I need to work on patience.  I need to relax and not worry too much about time. Souls are a lot more important than punctuality.  I talked a lot with my companion tonight & he let me know a few things. I need to follow the Spirit more and have more patience with ALL!  I let my comp know to help me out more because I can’t do everything on my own. He told me he was doing this for me to learn quicker. Well, I am learning quicker but it isn’t very fun!  I’m feeling a lot of stress and discouragement because I’m not living up to my expectations. I want to go 100% all the time and never let the Lord down. I realized all of my mistakes and how much the Lord has helped me and cleaned up after me.  I just want my comp to help me! I’m not perfect & can’t do it all, and need him to step in when he has a better idea. Man, Satan is working on me. He’s a punk, and I won’t let him win!

 

December 30th, 1994 – Friday

Ok.  Here we go again.  My comp is once again talking bad of Elder Folster.  Tonight we gave presentations to Magdelene (Angel walked out) and Enriketa.  Before these we went to the Mamitas to have a BBQ. We had it planned from 4pm to 6pm.  We went & found out that they weren’t going to have it until 8pm. We were kind of put into a bad spot because we missed these kinds of things before.  It’s lack of planning and communication. Well my comp went full out on leaders and on Elder Folster saying he’s clueless and boring. He also said North Americans don’t have fun and are weird.  Ok. Whatever. Well, I’m just tired of Elder Delgado and Elder Zambrano. Elder Zambrano’s attitude is weird, and Elder Delgado is out of control. He’s being rebellious & immature and poor Elder Dickman is hatin’ life!

 

December 31st, 1994 – Saturday

Well, we couldn’t leave to Banos today until 1pm.  So my comp & I studied, even though he didn’t want to.  We went to “El Pueblo” and invited everyone for a “casa abierta” (Open House).  We’re going to show a film on the wall of someone’s house. We then walked around town a bit, we got our shoes shined, and ate at a restaurant.  I spilled my soup all over the place. My man was all mad etc at me & Folster. Man, this Zambrano is happy one minute and depressed or mad the next.  We left to Banos at 1pm (I thought my comp was gonna stall, but didn’t). He still didn’t want to do nothing. He didn’t pray to leave the house, so I did.  He didn’t want to sit by me on the bus. Nice comp – huh? He even didn’t want to take a picture with me, and he left me walking to the house. Anyway, we played hoops against some Latinos from here and we lost.  We weren’t playing too hard. We played a little soccer, went to eat pizza, talked to a British guy, and played some checkers. I went to bed early and told my comp to wake me up for prayers. He didn’t, so I asked him to pray with me and he just laid there.  So I prayed. Man, this Elder has got some problems and I am sick of them! I’m going to confront him again on his attitude and if he doesn’t want to change – I’m calling President!! Well, this past year a lot happened. I’ve grown a lot spiritually and mentally.  Read my journal to see what happened. This next year is a missionary year. Here are my goals:

  1. Be humble
  2. Be fluent in language
  3. Study and lwarn
  4. More Patience
  5. Read the Book of Mormon 4 times (in Spanish) (Jan to March; April to June; July to September; October to December)
  6. Baptized 50 people for the Lord
  7. Be an instrument in Lord’s hands
  8. Have the Spirit
  9. Control my thoughts
  10. Be the missionary that the Lord wants me to be
  11. Have success in all places
  12. Be a good example
  13. Work hard everyday – No regrets
  14. Change the bad attitude of missionaries
  15. Change the Bad Latinos- Americanos relationship
  16. Make a difference in each area
  17. Stand up for what’s right
  18. Read the whole Bible twice
  19. Always be positive.
  20. Have a smile, even during hard times
  21. Be so obedient that the Lord will be bound
  22. Love my companions
  23. Pray more sincerely
  24. REalize my potential without being prideful
  25. Know Jesus Christ as my brother

I’m going to do all I can to fulfill these goals!  I want to do the best I can. This year is what will make my mission!!