• “What follows are some probing questions about family money and family philanthropy. There are no single or right answers. Asking the question and hearing how other family members respond are more important than the answers.
    • What challenges do we face regarding our family and our money?
    • What is our vision for our family’s future?
    • What is our family’s definition of success?
    • What is an appropriate financial inheritance for our children?
    • What principles will guide our decisions about estate allocations?
    • What has been our experience of working together as a family?
    • How do we prepare our children to steward a financial inheritance?
    • Should we bring our son-in-law or daughter-in-law into financial and philanthropic conversations?
    • What are our core philanthropic interests and how did these come to be important to us?
    • How may we enable the next generation to create a shared dream with a family foundation while also fulfilling the founder’s mission?
    • How do we promote a sense of togetherness in our family while also encouraging each person’s individuality?” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 1-2

“Consider these questions:

  • What is really important to your family?
  • What are your family’s true assets?
  • What should you do to guide and support the life journey of each family member over time?
  • How wealthy do you want your children to be?
  • Do you feel you have a responsibility to society? These are the deeper questions families ought to ask themselves today- and on a continuing basis.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 5
  • “What kind of family do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish-or help others to accomplish? What legacy do you want to leave your children and society? Deciding where to go with your financial success and why you want to meet those goals are the strategic questions that you should ask first. Determining how to get there and which legal arrangements to use are secondary tactical decisions.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 5
  • “I define a successful family as one that knows who it is, what it stands for, and where it is going. Successful families manage themselves deliberately. There is much at stake for your individual family members, for your family as a whole, and for society at large. If you and your family can define “what’s important” before deciding “what to do,” then your children will thrive, your family will flourish, and society will benefit.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 5
  • How, then, should you think about the deeper issues around wealth? Begin by asking your family four simple questions drawn from a business model for strategic planning taught at Harvard Business School:
    • What is your family’s vision for its future?
    • Can your family members work together?
    • Can your family make joint decisions around money, philanthropy, and legacy?
    • How should your family make decisions together?”“Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 6
  • “Family philanthropy is a powerful teaching tool that provides a safe environment in which your children can learn about money management and working as part of a team. Moreover, many families want to leave a legacy of meaning in addition to their financial wealth. Philanthropy can function as an important vehicle for articulation core values, providing a meaningful family legacy, and giving your children (and grandchildren) a competency experience. A strategic philanthropy program for family members enhances their human, intellectual, and social capital.” Wealth in Families Third Edition(Charles W. Collier) Page 9
  • “In my experience, the best practices of successful families include the following: Of course, no family achieves all of these objectives, but attempting to do so is a goal to which any family can aspire over a lifetime.”
    • They focus on the human, intellectual, and social capital of their family.
    • They stress the priority of each family member’s individual pursuit of happiness.
    • They work on enhancing intrafamily communication.
    • Their time frame for determining success is long-term.
    • They tell and retell the family’s most important stories.
    • They create mentor-like relationships when establishing family trusts.
    • They have collaboratively defined a family vision statement (the Shared Dream).”
    • They teach children and grandchildren the competencies and responsibilities that come with financial wealth.
    • They work at getting to really know each family member.
    • They give their younger family members as much responsibility as they can manage as soon as possible.Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 9-10
  • “First of all, recognize that grown children are going to make their own decisions anyway. The real question is” How do wealth holders help create the circumstances for their children to make wise decisions? For example, around the family philanthropic process, you might say, “what are your passions and how do you want to support them?” You have to allow them to give to the causes they care about and in ways and amounts that they decide.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 22-23
  • “Your shepherding is your communication to them of the happiness that you create and experience by the wise use of your money.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 24
  • “In every culture that I’ve encountered-in China, Latin America, and Europe, for example-I run into the same proverb. In China, rice paddy to rice paddy; in Ireland, clogs to clogs.  It appears that financial wealth is destined to disappear in three or four generations. The proverb means that the first generation makes the money, the second generation preserves it, the third generation spends it, and the fourth generation must re-create it. I prefer the rice paddy idiom; for example, imagine a poor couple in China wearing torn clothing. They pull rice every day and make a financial fortune. They don’t leave their home or change their way of life. The second generation moves to the city, joins the opera board, and becomes significant members of society. The third generation, having no experience of work, spends the money, and the fourth generation goes back to working in the rice paddy.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 35-36
  • “If affluent parents do not actively instill within their children a sense of value and respect for money and the effort earning it requires,” asserts Hausner in Children of Paradise, “the result can be a child who not only believes there is an endless supply of capital but one who consequently abuses it.”” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 42
  • “If you already have money without the necessity of working, it becomes easy not to develop the discipline and focus that lead to competency. Children who are raised in an impoverished environment are forced to become independent and competent because there is nobody providing for them. Whatever they desire must come through their own effort. What happens to a wealthy child surrounded by people who do things for the child: tutors, nannies, and strong parents-a whole world of people whose main function is to service the child? The critical issue is the lack of work experience. If you read autobiographies of great achievers, most of them struggled and had significant work experience. The sold newspapers, they worked on the docks, they worked in a store. They really worked hard, and this type of work is one of the important competency experiences. Contrast this to the world of wealthy children. If they’re not in school, they’re often in summer camp or traveling in Europe. Not only do they often miss the opportunity of working, but in families of generational wealth they don’t even see the model of work in their families. The source of the family’s financial support is a trust fund. In these situations, how are they going to get the idea about what it means to work? Work is important because it is a method of validating oneself. Additionally, it gives the individual the opportunity to experience the “high” of achievement. When a child becomes addicted to the excitement of achievement, then money will not impair their productivity.”Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 44-45
  • “It’s been my experience that if families focus on what the money means-creating more wealth for future generations or undertaking family philanthropy, for example-these families develop the necessary values around money that can be articulated to current and future generations.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 58
  • “To organize your family philanthropy intelligently, I suggest you explore the following four areas: defining your core values, choosing a giving vehicle, making grants, and transferring leadership.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 69
  • “Families meet informally all the time. That is how family members communicate and share their lives. Families that need to make decisions together-especially families of wealth-can also benefit from more formal meetings. Meetings of this kind help to build effective families. Formal family meetings allow nuclear or multigenerational families to meet in a more structured, and therefore safer, environment. The purpose is to share information, learn about one another, make joint decisions, understand the family’s financial wealth, discuss ways to give back to society, begin or perpetuate family traditions, discuss leadership issues, and forge or preserve the family’s vision for the future. Meetings enable the next generation to participate in the family business or the business of the family. In short, these gatherings provide families with a forum to discuss and enhance not only financial capital but also “relational capital,” strengthening the system of family relationships across generations.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 81
  • “You may be pleased to see that the children are beginning to see that their lives have been very fortunate, that not all kids are so lucky. They may be seeing for the first time that money is not all about having, getting, or spending. Money can also be a way to help others, and to take a certain leadership role in the world. They may have experienced what it feels like to be needed in their own right, a giver of care, not just a receiver of care.”  A DONOR FRIENDLY OVERVIEW OF CHARITABLE TOOLS.  Phil Cubeta, CLU, ChFC, MSFS, CAP, The Sallie B. and William B. Wallace Chair in Philanthropy at The American College.  Page 5.
  • “Generally, foundations make grants. But increasingly they are becoming more entrepreneurial by investing in organizations that advance the mission of the foundation. With a program-related investment (PRI) a foundation invests its principal in advancing its mission. PRIs include loans, loan guarantees, linked deposits, and even equity investments in charitable organizations or in commercial ventures for civic purposes. For the recipient, PRIs provide access to capital at lower than market rates. For the foundation, the benefit is that the repayment of the note, or return of equity, can be recycled to meet another charitable purpose.”  A DONOR FRIENDLY OVERVIEW OF CHARITABLE TOOLS.  Phil Cubeta, CLU, ChFC, MSFS, CAP, The Sallie B. and William B. Wallace Chair in Philanthropy at The American College.  Page 5
  • “First of all, recognize that grown children are going to make their own decisions anyway. The real question is” How do wealth holders help create the circumstances for their children to make wise decisions? For example, around the family philanthropic process, you might say, “what are your passions and how do you want to support them?” You have to allow them to give to the causes they care about and in ways and amounts that they decide.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 22-23
  • “Your shepherding is your communication to them of the happiness that you create and experience by the wise use of your money.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 24
  • “Another challenge in raising children in the context of wealth is how to give them a balanced sense of the role of money in their lives, ensuring that they make the connection between work and reward-that is, the value of money. “If affluent parents do not actively instill within their children a sense of value and respect for money and the effort earning it requires,” asserts Hausner in Children of Paradise, “the result can be a child who not only believes there is an endless supply of capital but one who consequently abuses it.”” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 42
  • “Think carefully about the purpose of the financial inheritance. Engage all of your children in conversations about your financial wealth and their inheritances.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 114