- “First, understand why arguments occur. Arguments are caused by two people (or two countries) racing to occupy the victim position in the relationship. Person A claims the victim position (“Why are you doing this to me?”) and then tries to get person B to agree with that assessment. In other words, person B has to agree that he or she is the persecutor. Therein lies the problem. It’s almost impossible to get the other guy to agree that it’s his fault.” The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level (Gay Hendricks) Page 85
- “PERSON A: Why are you making me so miserable? This problem is entirely your fault. PERSON B: Wow, thanks for pointing that out. I agree completely. It’s clear that I’m the perpetrator, you’re the victim, and your misery is entirely my fault. However, I have seen about five thousand variations on the following: PERSON A: Why are you making me so miserable? This problem is entirely your fault. PERSON B: I’m making you miserable? I’m the one who’s the victim here. It’s your fault, not mine. I’ve been putting up with your guff so long I ought to get some sort of martyrdom prize! PERSON A: That’s absurd. Let me tell you all the reasons I’m the real victim here. PERSON B: Great. Then when you get through, I’ll tell you how all of them are your fault, always have been, and always will be. Once the race for the victim position is under way, each person must find some way to out-victim the other. In other words, each person must present an escalating series of “proofs” that he or she is the real victim.” The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level (Gay Hendricks) Page 85
- “When I maintain an attitude of cheerful wonder and keen interest toward my faults and flaws, I see them dissolve and transform much more rapidly than when I give myself a hard time about them. If you’re willing to adopt a playful attitude toward yourself and your shortcomings, you can make extraordinarily rapid progress. It’s easier to chuckle over things than to fret over them, and chuckling is much more fun for the people around you.” The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level (Gay Hendricks) Page 110
- “Daily we meet moments that steal our self-esteem. They are inevitable. Each day we are reminded that we don’t have certain talents, that we make mistakes. That we don’t excel in all things. And amidst all this, it is easy to believe that we don’t quite measure up in the great scheme of things, but are inferior in some secret way. Underrating ourselves is not only painful, but is downright dangerous. For we limit the range of all possibility. We are the offspring of Heavenly Parents. Created with great personal care. Our hearts, our souls & minds have potential beyond our greatest imagination. We can become anything we want if we just remember who we are & if we do not choke off our power by brooding over some small fault, or by feeling inferior.” – Paul H. Dunn
- “There is a terrible ailment of pessimism in the land. It’s almost endemic. We’re constantly fed a steady and sour diet of character assassination, faultfinding, evil speaking of one another. I come with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I’m suggesting that we accentuate the positive. I’m asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort.” Manual, Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, Chapter 3, Cultivating an Attitude of happiness and a Spirit of Optimism