July 1st, 1994 – Friday

Today I got up at 5:45am.  We ate breakfast, did some studying and then went to class at 7:15am to 11:30am.  Brother Taylor is our teacher & he’s really nice. Today was our 1st full day learning Spanish. I tell ya what, we just covered about a semester’s worth of school.  Now I just need to learn the vocabulary and use it while speaking. I need to let the spirit help me. A scripture I read today- that if I 1st seek to obtain His word, then my tongue will be loosed.  So I need to read, read, and study the scriptures as much as possible ! (D&C 11: 20) I got a little frustrated today but I caught myself. Satan tries to make me not concentrate. We learned the commitment pattern today.  I got a letter from Kim Henson today & it’s like 16 pages. I have no time! I got things de mi madre tambien (from my Mom also). I need to take less time doing things, like writing in this journal. I need to estudiar mucho! (Study a lot!)  I need the spirit. Buenas Noches (good night)….I was just reading 1 Nephi 1 about Lehi’s dream. I’ve had a few interesting dreams myself. One was while I was at Ricks I dreamt that I walked into a big hall full of people. As I was walking I noticed a family that I hadn’t seen in awhile.  They all ran over to me, but there was a lady that was with them I didn’t recognize. She was running toward me crying. She was crying tears of joy and saying Thank you many times. She hugged me for a few seconds. She was of a spanish descent. I can’t quite remember her face, but I can remember the feeling I had.  I was very humbled to think someone was so thankful toward me. I have a feeling I might see this lady in my life – Also, last night I had a dream that I converted Jason Andreski. I pray that that comes true!

 

July 2nd, 1994 – Saturday (Happy Birthday Jenna!)

Today was a pretty quick day.  I learned a lot of Espanol y it’s getting tough.  Today we had a meeting on Christ. (Large Group). I realized I wasn’t totally focused on Christ.  I need to redirect myself and think more of Christ. He needs to be the base of all my thinking! Today – we learned tons of vocab.  I need to humble myself more so that the Lord can bless me with his spirit. I observed a lot of the Elders in the district and I have a few concerns.  It may be too early though to tell. I’ve decided tonight I need to write out my mission goals. Here they are:

  1.     Become very humble
  2.     Get to know Jesus Christ as my brother & savior
  3.     Build my testimony more & more
  4.     Learn the language through humility & el espiritu (the spirit)
  5.     Have the spirit with me all the time
  6.     Bring souls unto Christ (for good)
  7.     Serve the people of Ecuador
  8.     Always be cheerful.  I am in the Lord’s work!
  9.     Learn from trials & accept them.
  10. Be an example to all that I come in contact with.
  11. Follow all rules, at all times
  12. Show love.
  13. Know the Book of Mormon

I need to obtain these goals & it starts now!  Tomorrow is fast Sunday. I’m fasting for humility & the spirit.

 

July 3rd, 1994 – Sunday

Chanclas de perro!  (Holy Cow!) Today was soo busy. Nonstop.  Today was very spiritually uplifting. I’m starting to focus myself a lot more on my mission & it’s overall purpose.  Today I fasted for humility and the spirit. It was tough. Elder Ashworth and I went to the Temple. We talked about many things.  I need to work more on Christ like love. I need to focus on Him, His love for me, and my purpose here! I had a lot of leadership meetings today.  I need to be a better leader and example. Sorry so short and confusing but I have NO TIME TO WRITE!! Tomorrow we speak only Spanish. Good luck! (PS I had steak tonight)

 

July 4th, 1994 (4th of July?  I didn’t realize it!)

Once again, I’m rushed to keep the rules.  Today was a very awesome day. I felt the spirit quite a bit.  I had the opportunity to express my feelings. I have had many touching experiences.  This morning I went to an SYL meeting (Speak Your Language) and there was a video shown.  It showed pictures of Elders baptising Latin Americans. It touched me to know that I have the opportunity to baptize people and bring them the gospel.  I’m feeling the Spirit all the time and try to bear my testimony. Today we started the SYL program. I plan to follow it. I also started memorizing the baptismal prayer en Espanol.  It’s gonna be neat. This morning I saw Matt Adams (5th Grade Class). He looks the same. He’s going to Argentina. I’m working hard but need to work better. 

  •  I am writing this portion on April 10th, 2020.  What I recall while I was in the MTC was the night of the 4th of July, I could hear the fireworks going off all over Utah Valley.  I could even look out my window and see the sky lighting up while I was in my bed. It was probably the most home sick I felt on my mission, and I remember crying myself to sleep that night because I knew my family was out there enjoying the fireworks on the 4th of July and I wanted to be with them.

 

July 5th, 1994 – Martes (Tuesday)

Today I was very tired and didn’t feel like I had enough energy but once again the Lord has come through.  Today went by very fast and it was a great day. Classes are fast and intense. I learn a lot all the time.  Brother Taylor and Brother Ballado are great. They’re both very funny. Bro. Ballado named his pet tiger Juanito Ross Simba Brown.  (Elder Peterson put a mustache on it!) At the end of the class, Bro Ballado had all the Elders repeat the Baptismal Prayer. We all said Juanito Ross Brown.  He’s funny. He said he’ll call Jenna to say Hola for me. I’ve been speaking Spanish all the time and I find myself translating everything said in English in my head. (during talks).  Today I realized I need to organize myself better. I forgot to have the Elders wear coats so we had to cut Book of Mormon study short. We had a District meeting and Brother Steed (1st Counselor in the Presidency) spoke.  He challenged us to learn the steps of receiving the spirit. He emphasized needing to have it in our everyday lives all the time. No spirit = no eternal life. He said some kind words of me and I need to do better I feel as a leader and friend.  Tonight we had the opportunity to hear President Eyring speak (Theme of his talk D&C 11:21). He was so awesome. He made me realize the importance of the spirit. He gave us missionaries words of encouragement. He told the leaders to not get big heads.  He advised us to give our whole life to the Lord. He said, about missionary work, “If we’re not under stress, we don’t understand the situation.” He asked us – when in a situation for decision ask – “Do I think this might offend the Holy Ghost?” He made me realize I need to tell the Lord & ask the Lord “Help me.  I will do anything you’ll want me to do. Anything. I’m in your hands” I’m going to give all I have to the Lord. It’s the only way and it’s taken me 20 years to realize that. I love this place. The MTC is full of spiritual experiences every minute. I hope that I can realize my calling. I need to have no fear b/c I am in the Lord’s hands.  I am supposed to be here. I pray for strength and mental toughness to distinguish the spirit & have it all the time. I’m thankful to be on the Lord’s side and I plan to be on it through eternity.

 

July 6th, 1994 – Wednesday

Today was P-Day (I have 5 minutes until lights out – aye aye aye)  We went to the temple at 8:00am with our district. We got split up.  The temple was awesome. I love going there and praying in the celestial room.  The spirit is so strong there. We did laundry and I wrote letters. We then played basketball.  It was very fun (I was hot). We did things here then Elder Goettsche and I played catch & played ultimate frisbee.  We ate dinner & had class. Hermana Canter started crying, so Hermana Bowlden went out with her & so did I. We talked of Elders & Hermanas being scared of each other.  After class we talked for a while. Hermana Canter thought no one liked her & they both were having problems with the Elders. I hope I helped them. I have one minute to pray!  Murray came by tonight! (He pitched with me at Ricks College)

 

July 7th, 1994 – Thursday

Today was a good learning experience.  I felt bad all day (couldn’t sleep last night) b/c I was worried about our district.  Brother Ballado interviewed me and I told him all the problems. I told him who I thought was not doing well, who was, who was shy.  Elder Peterson I worry about the most and I want to get through to him the most. Bro. Ballado told me to continue being an example & most of all, be their friend.  I need to be friends with all the members in our district & try to break up the cliques. I want so much to be friends with everyone & bring our district together. I’ll do my best.  I’ve got to know Elder Spencer & Sweep a bit better, but I’ve got to get to know Elders Rotz, Peterson, Booth & Ferguson. I also talked to Elder Hincy (going to Japan) and he’s awesome.  He seems so much older than me! He’s Assistant to the President and he’s a great Elder! He gave me good advice to lead them step by step to their problem. I was asked (Elder McHoes) challenged us to write about our companions.  Mine is Elder Ashworth and he’s awesome! He supports me & serves me all the time. He does real small things for me all the time. I need to be as humble as him. I can see his humbleness in his eyes. He’s a great example to me! Bro Ballado said “The good missionaries get the good investigators.  The bad missionaries get the bad investigators. The Lord won’t let his golden investigators go to a missionary that isn’t working hard.” I hope I can always be a GREAT missionary.

 

July 8th, 1994- Friday

Today I’ve seen the power of prayer.  Last night I prayed for our district to become closer because I felt that we were split up in groups.  Elder Peterson & I seemed to lead both. But today, he started talking with me a lot more. The District talked a lot to each other today and we hung out a lot more together.  It was a 100% turnaround! I know the Lord answers our prayers! I just hope that our district doesn’t get light minded. I think we do that & I felt I followed Elder Peterson in that today.  I need to refocus my energy from social to gospel. I guess Bro. Ballado said some things to Elder Peterson. He said he’d tell me later. Today I learned a lot of Spanish (the spirit & I). I had a great experience with Bro. McHoes teaching.  We were discussing the Book of Mormon and I shared the passage in 2 Nephi 27:25. It speaks of those who draw near to Christ with their mouths, but far from Christ with their hearts. I shared my experience I had with the Born Again Christian. I realized that every time I spoke, and felt power in me & had peace in me that it was the spirit testifying that this church is true.  After relating this experience I felt so much peace (others also shared experiences like Hermana Canter giving out Book of Mormons & Elder Ashworth talking about his Dad’s heart attack). I felt so good, and so right that I didn’t want to stop sharing. It’s like the feeling felt when you’ve had the Spirit in the room. You don’t want to speak for fear of forcing it out. I wanted to kneel down alone and pray to my Father in heaven.  I realize that I am in His work. I am learning the language so that He can use me to teach our beliefs to His children. I am only an instrument in His hands & can be a good one only if I am Humble & walk in His ways. I love this church, and I’ve got a lot to do so I can be the best communicator of the gospel that I can! P.S. I got a letter from the family today. They’re all doing good. BJ Hunter sent me a tape. 

-BJ and I would record our voices on cassette tapes and send them back and forth to each other

 

July 9th, 1994 – Saturday

Today was a good day.  We had class as usual and we had an LGM meeting.  It was great! The guy had us laughing all the time, but the spirit was still felt.  He told us our mission goes by quick & to do all possible to do our best. The night class was really good.  Elder McHoes always has a Book of Mormon sharing time. And his goal every time is to bring everyone to Christ.  I feel the spirit so strong all the time he’s there. I said that I was happy for the opportunity we had to discuss Joseph Smith.  It strengthens my testimony to hear other people share their experiences. After class (Bro. Ballado almost lost our dinero – money) I went & visited Jenna.  It was good talking to her. I need to use her flip chart she let me use. Randy was there too. I’m glad Elder Ashworth was cool about us visiting. Every day it seems I get closer to the spirit.  I need to continue to do so.

 

July 10th, 1994 – Sunday

Today was a spiritual feast!  I love Sundays because we don’t have language but rather just spiritual upliftment through meetings.  At 7:00am we had a district meeting. It went very well. I taught it on persecution of others because I felt our district needed to work on it.  The 1st part was pretty direct & we discussed consequences. But the 2nd part we focused on service & love toward another. That’s when the spirit flowed in. It was great to feel the spirit.  I hope that I affected at least one person in there. We had a Branch Correlation Meeting. That went well. We had a temporal meeting. After that where the President Gifford told us about sports stuff.  It made me want to watch Sports Center! Priesthood today was sweet. We talked about Joseph Smith. It made me realize even more how great a prophet he was! Gospel Study & Sacrament went well. We went up to the temple & I read the Intro to Jesus the Christ.  That’s an awesome book & I haven’t even started!! We had a fireside & Gospel study. The fireside hit me hardest to know that I’ve got to approach everybody no matter what! I’ve got to give everyone an opportunity. I hope I can. I’ve realized today that I’ve got a lot of things to improve on.  The sins I don’t want to give up, the need to study more, the language so that I can communicate the gospel. I need to KNOW the gospel & study it more. In fact, right now I’m going to stop writing because I need to study, not write.

 

July 11th, 1994 – Monday

Today was a down/up day.  I woke up in a real bad mood.  I didn’t feel like I had the spirit at all and I was confused as to why.  Today in class I mentioned it to Elder Ashworth and he said he had the exact same feeling.  Then Elder Goettsche said that he did too. We wonder if someone in our building did something to take the Spirit out of this place.  I didn’t have the mental attitude I usually do. I wondered if I didn’t pray well enough the night before because I did struggle. Today went well as usual, but Hermana Canter got upset because she read a teachers report on her/ about her & Elder Ferguson’s relationship.  She was upset. I haven’t talked to her yet. Tonight was awesome. Bro. McHoes wasn’t there much. Elder Ashworth and I shared a lot of experiences & testimonies. I tried to explain to him that every little gospel topic can & does bring me the spirit. Whenever we discuss a principle, I feel the spirit strongly about it.  I struggle to try and comprehend & feel all of the feelings of truth I’ve felt. I want to be able to have one huge feeling of the spirit, combining all the feelings I’ve had. I want to comprehend it so that I know how to feel it all the time. I think that’s how the Celestial Kingdom will be. 100% feeling of the spirit, in all angles.  Well, I talked to Elder Hincy and he said something did happen last night that Satan caused. So this morning it obviously was the Spirit not being able to dwell here. Tonight in our class we talked about faith. Some great experiences were shared. Elder Peterson shared an awesome experience. His sister had a blood clot the size of a grapefruit in her head.  He expressed his love for his sister and that touched me & got me to think of my little sister Meredith. I felt the spirit so strong tonight. I know the Spirit was edifying me & helping forget about this morning. I also felt the love Christ has for His brothers & sisters. He loves me and He wants me to share His love to the people of Ecuador. I pray that I do share the love I feel.  I love my family very much. I know that they support me. Elder Rotz shared the experience of his Dad breaking down in tears telling him he loves him. That reminded me of Leroy’s talk at my farewell. He described my mission call. He also expressed his love for me.  

  • (From Tuesday July 5th)  One thing I forgot to write in my journal.  During President Eyring’s talk, I felt the spirit so strong that I looked for Christ.  I honestly thought I would see Him in the room. I looked in one corner to the next. I felt his presence, and imagined Him being in the gym.  It was a wonderful feeling to feel Christ in the same room.

 

July 12, 1994 – Tuesday

Today was sweeeeet!  1st of all last night, I had a very spiritual experience with the Lord.  I prayed to Him and broke down in tears because of the love I felt He had for me.  I prayed to Him for help because I hadn’t been feeling the Spirit like I knew I should’ve been.  I slept pretty good. I woke up this morning with the Spirit. Today was a good day but I do remember times I got side tracked from my purpose here & also I sometimes had bad feelings.  I tell you what, tonight M. Russell Ballard spoke to us & the spirit flushed all of those feelings out of my body. He humbled me very much tonight. He let me know that I needed to have knowledge on what I was teaching.  “I wasn’t sent to be taught, sent to teach.” He told us not “to apologize or get defensive, just be honest!” I need to teach people all over in all circumstances. I’m a Servant of the Lord and He will help me to bring souls unto Him.  Souls are precious & we have the most important, serious business on Earth. We are helping people’s soul for eternity. I need to get to a comfort level of Knowledge so that I can teach. We are to keep all rules so the Holy Ghost will preach through us.  We need to establish an environment of teaching so the Holy Ghost wcan teach (commitment pattern, discuss, missionary guide) The Holy Ghost gives us a feeling of well-being, not a huge revelation. He challenged me to give the next two years to the Lord. I am humbled because I know I have little knowledge.  I need not waste a minute, but use every minute to study. I love this work. The gospel is one of two things: True or Not True. It’s that simple and I know that it’s true and that this is Jesus Christ’s church. An Apostle of the Lord testified of it tonight and bore testimony that the Savior loves us. I know He does.  I love Him too! And dedicate the next two years to Him!

 

July 13th, 1994 – Wednesday

Today was P-day & I’m so tired!  We went to the Temple today as a District.  It’s so good to be able to talk to the Lord in His house.  I feel the spirit every time I go there. It’s a great refresher of the soul!  After the Temple we did our laundry. I wrote a lot of letters. We ran & ate in like 5 minutes so we could make it to gym class.  We played hoops. I ironed & sewed on …. 6 buttons! 6 of my shirts lost their buttons… frustrating. We played hoops again. Tonight we had a great class.  We learned a lot of new vocabulary. We practiced “HOFRS!” Elder Ashworth & I did it. It was so powerful! I felt the spirit just practicing. It got me so excited to do better!

  • The other day Hermand Bowlden related to me that the poem “Footsteps” meant a lot to her.  She said that it was us being carried right now & for the next two years. I believe that to be fully true because we can do nothing without the Lord’s help.  I know He is carrying me now even through the great times! I need to always remember that He is the only reason for the good times, & that He carries me through the bad.

 

July 14th, 1994 – Thursday

Today has not been anything great.  I was humbled today. I didn’t have many spiritual experiences today that was my fault.  I hope our district keeps focus. It’s hard to do. Today I (Elder Ashworth & I) decided that Hermana Canter was driving her companion Hermana Bowlden crazy.  She’s always with Elder Ferguson & always has to talk to him. I was going to speak to him, but Brother McHoes talked to him. I hope it affects him. I need to gain the spirit back like I’m supposed to.  I’ve been summarizing my chapters in the Book of Mormon & it’s great. I’m learning a lot. Today I was humbled by the language. I realized that my skills need so much help & the only way I’ll get it is from the Lord.  Time for the Lord to carry me!

 

July 15th, 1994 – Friday

Today was a regular day.  I didn’t strive very hard to gain spiritual knowledge so I didn’t gain much.  I did go through 2 Nephi 26 through 28 and man are they full of doctrine. They’re awesome chapters.  Today we went over the preterit and imperfect in Spanish. Really difficult. With practice I should do fine.  I need to rely more on the Lord. I need to watch light mindedness. I need to become more humble. Today I got a letter from Grandma & Grandpa.  They gave me $10.00. They’re so awesome! I love them!

 

July 16th, 1994 – Saturday

I am very tired.  I also don’t feel the spirit with me & it makes me angry.  I need to get the spirit back with me so that I can be more effective in all my studies.  It’s so necessary. Today in Maestro Ballado’s class I had to do 10 push-ups for every word in English I said. (b/c Elder Goettsche told him that we wanted to do them).  I was doing great until we took a picture of us & I talked to some Elders going to Holland in English. He gave me 21 ½ words which equals 225 push-ups! I did 160 & he quizzed me on some words.  I got them right so I didn’t have to the next 75! Whew! Well, tonight we had a district prayer. It’s good & brings us closer. I need to focus more on Christ. I need to refocus everything & watch myself.  Tonight I’m going to have a good talk with the Lord.

 

July 17th, 1994 – Sunday

Today was what I needed.  A day full of spiritual experiences!  We had a district meeting today. Hermana Bowlden was supposed to give the lesson on Prophets.  Hermana Canter was sick so they couldn’t come. It was a great lesson. The Spirit was very strong.  We spoke about Prophets of today and of old. We talked of the prophecies of the 2nd Coming & nearness of it.  It was great to hear Elder Rotz’ sincere prayer. The Hermanas came to the rest of the meetings. We had a Correlation Meeting.  I talked of the Hermanas & Elder Ferguson. Today we found out who the new A.P was. I was kind of jealous, but I caught myself & realized what Satan was doing.  I know I need to support the AP in all I do, and I will. I got refocused today. I’m ready for the spirit to help me in Espanol. I need it. I need to realize my purpose here – to learn the scriptures, come closer to Christ, know Jesus Christ, and learn the language.

 

July 18, 1994 – Monday

Today has been up and down, up and down, up and down!  Wow! The sisters were having prob’s. Hermana Canter broke down in class again today.  She thinks that Maestro Taylor is sexually harassing her. OOOOOK. It got so out of hand that the class was wondering w’sup, the spirit was gone, and there was no chance of studying.  So I called a lot of people to get her to someone. After a while I got her to the District President. They talked & tomorrow they’re going to talk some more. It’s not over. Sister Bowlden (poor lady) sits & watches all of these problems & it affects her spiritually.  So tomorrow she wants to receive a blessing. I was down about the whole situation but the only thing I can do is leave it in the Lord’s hands. I pray for His help because I can do nothing without it. Tonight we had Culture Class & I learned about Ecuador. I’m so excited about serving the people.  I can’t wait to play with the little kids. They’re awesome. I found out that Ecuador is not all that “Jungle- ish” but a little normal. The living conditions aren’t great, but they’re all that I and the Lord need. I received two letters from Dad & Leroy. They’re a great support. It’s bedtime, so I better stop.  I already love the people of Ecuador. I’m very excited to go there. I pray for the Lord to make me best prepared.

 

July 19th, 1994 – Tuesday

Oh wow.  Oh wow. Wow.  Where do I start?  Today was crazy. I had a feeling things would explode.  Hermana Canter got her problem solved this morning & was all happy, so I was too (but Hermana Bowlden wasn’t).  At lunch President Gifford called. He wanted to know why I left a message. I told him the story & also told him I didn’t feel that Bro. Taylor was being treated properly.  I told him my feelings on Hermana Canter in class and relationship with her companion. He decided he wanted to talk to Hermana Canter & Bowlden. Well, he did & Hermana Canter went nuts.  It was sickening to feel & see. She was planning on leaving. She talked to her brother, & to President Gifford again. In the meantime, our district was very concerned about her. She was very upset with me & her companion.  I felt bad inside, but knew I did the right thing. Our district sang a song, then I spoke to them. It all hit me at once & I ached for Hermana Canter. I couldn’t hold back my tears, but I let everyone in there know I loved them & that I did what I thought was correct.  I also let them know that whatever happens is what the Lord wants to happen. She ended up staying (after I learned zero in my meetings). I’m so happy she did. She doesn’t have good feelings for me but I’ve got to be Christ-like in all I do. I need to show love to her. She’s going to be a sweet missionary.  Her brother probably doesn’t like me too much either. I hope & pray all goes well & I live by the spirit.  

 

July 20th, 1994 – Wednesday

Today was sweet!  Man, I guess I’ve got to struggle bad for a day to have the spirit.  I need to have it all the time. This morning we went to the temple. It was great to feel the spirit of the Lord & pray to Him in His presences.  I love the feeling. Today I talked to Hermana Canter in the laundry room & I tell ya she’s turned around. She seems very well & I had a good talk with her.  Her and Hermana Bowlden have talked a lot & become better friends. Today we hooped & played volleyball. I ran into Dane Hatch (played 1st base at Ricks College with me), Chad Enselmo (from 9th Grade at Amador Valley High School) & Josh Tillotson (from 11th and 12th grade in England).  It’s neat seeing Elders you knew. Tonight I learned a ton in class. I learned with the Spirit. It was so good to have it back. I know that the Lord worked everything out. After class I, Elder Ashworth, & Elder Jensen (AP) gave Sister Bowlden a blessing. I spoke & felt the spirit strongly.  I know I said what the Lord wanted her to hear. The Lord is awesome & I know that I am nothing without Him. He blesses me so much. I’m so thankful for Him trusting me to be born in an LDS family & to serve a mission for Him. I need to devote my entire life to Him. I love my Savior. He is my best friend.

 

July 21st, 1994 – Thursday

Today has been a great day.  I learned a ton & I didn’t have to do any push-ups in Ballado’s class.  Good day. I talked to Dane Hatch a lot today. He’s cool. I learned quite a bit of things today.  The Lord is blessing me. I was pretty groggy today b/c last night the lights went out at 10:32 or so.  2 minutes means a lot. I need to work on patience a lot. I have to have more patience with my companion.  He tries hard, but sometimes I get annoyed with some of the things he does. He seems to be too proper & precise.  It bugs me, but it shouldn’t. He also is acting as a dictator & shouldn’t. I’m gonna talk to him about it & find out what he feels I need to work on.  I need to make sure I have the spirit all the time. It is necessary. I need to HSI (habla su idioma – speak your language) much more. It’s important! I’m ready to sleep.

 

 

July 22nd, 1994 – Friday

Today was sweet, man.  I learned a ton today. It went by fast (Dickman is talking to me now & I’m not listening to him because he talks too much).  I learned a few new Spanish concepts today that I need to practice. Elder Goettsche & I tease Elder Dickman all the time about sports & mixes up names & stuff.  Dickman has no clue about what we’re saying. We also notch up how many times he uses the bano. It’s funny. I’ve learned with the Spirit a lot today & need to thank the Lord tonight.

 

July 23rd, 1994 – Saturday

Today was an awesome day.  In Maestro Ballado’s class we shared the Book of Mormon & Sister Canter shared an experience of her mom not being active, then Elder Sweep shared his about his dad being a non-member.  They both broke down. It was touching to see Elder Sweep share that. Then Hermano Ballado invited this lady in & they sang a song. Then he sang “The Test” for Elder Goettsche. That song was sung at Elder Goettsche’s brother’s funeral.  Goettsche was in tears. Everyone was crying & we became a ton closer. I thank the Lord for all of these opportunities & experiences. I felt it so much & told everyone I loved them. I learned all the rest of Spanish today. So I’ve heard it all, but it’s time to put it together.  I need the help of the Lord. I need so much help. The Lord is awesome & I love this work.

  • Hermana Bowlden brought up a point that my kids are watching everything I do & are cheering me on.  Sweet.

I talked to Maestro McHoes tonight.  He’s a solid man. He’s a hard-nosed spiritual man.

 

July 24th, 1994 – Sunday

Today was a spiritual refresher.  I needed to hear a lot of what was said.  In priesthood President Steed spoke on pride & approached it in the way that we are nothing.  He brought out a lot of outstanding facts about our galaxy & our universe & how humongous it is.  It was great & humbling (Murray just came in here ripping on Goettsche’s dog he called “Job”). Today I realized I need to be more Christ-like, repent every day, & realize Christ’s Atonement.  I need to be focused all the time. My comp & I talked today. I let him know he needs to smile more & express his feelings more. He’s got his head on straight though. This morning Hermana Canter gave the lesson on Joseph Smith.  She made me think of him more as a real person & not a big legend or someone in the past. Our district is going good. We need to keep the spirit. I need to pray tonight fervently so that I can have the Lord’s blessings & full love.

 

July 25th, 1994 – Monday

Today we started our charlas (discussions).  It was neat speaking & sharing things. I would talk Spanish not sweet but pretty good.  I know it was because of the spirit. I need to pray for the spirit to help much more. Our district is going well.  I like talking in Spanish. It’s very hard now but I can’t wait for the day when I’m fluent. I need to feel of the Lord’s spirit.  Today I decided to pray to the Lord whether or not I should outline the Book of Mormon or just read it. I decided to just read it, but I didn’t get much out of it.  I also didn’t feel too good. So I decided to go back to outlining & I felt excitement. I felt like I learned much more. It seems super small, but I bet that there is a reason that I’m writing/ outlining the chapters.  The Lord let me know that was how I should study – plus, looking back, an Apostle did counsel us to do this. How quickly I forget. Not good. I thank God for today & for my mission. I’m totally relying on Him & always need to.

 

July 26th, 1994 – Tuesday

Today has been a great day.  Our substitute teacher today put reality in my mind when he told us in 2 weeks we’ll speak to investigators & in 4 weeks we’ll be in Ecuador.  Wow. Hello, get ready. He encouraged us to teach with power. In Maestro Ballado’s class, we had the opportunity to share our testimony & invite a newly baptized member to share the church with friends.  I spoke all in Spanish & I felt the spirit. It went very well & I’m very excited to learn the language & teach through the Holy Ghost. Tonight we had a district meeting on becoming Gods & the reality of how well God knows us.  We are his children, so he knows already what decision we’ll make in the future. It’s touching to think how well He knows us. Rex Pinnegar of the Quorum of the 70 spoke to us tonight at our devotional. He focused on Missionaries work through Christ & for Him by the Holy Ghost. Everyone, including Apostles pray for the missionaries.  I’m so lucky to be a servant of the Lord & I hope I can serve & love the people of Ecuador with all my soul. I need to have unconditional love. I pray for the Spirit to help me to communicate the way the Lord wants me to. Today our district practiced the song “God be with you til we meet again”. It should be good. We’re gonna sing it for our last sacrament meeting.  I’ve got to get to bed. I love Jesus Christ & His work!!

 

July 27th, 1994 – Wednesday

Today was P-Day.  We got up, went to breakfast.  Then Elder Ashworth played the piano while I wrote letters.  We got haircuts, turned in our books to put names on it, & binded our discussions.  We played hoops 3 times. Josh Tillotson is in our gym. I saw Elder Kidman today & he has our P-day time, too.  Sweet! Tonight Elder Ashworth & I & Elder Jenson welcomed the new missionaries. It was neat seeing them & thinking what I thought that day.  It was fun. Then we came to class & we practiced a situation where the missionary was in a doctor’s office & shared a verse in the Book of Mormon.  I shared 2 Nephi 26:24 about God loving the world. I talked in Spanish. I couldn’t speak all the words. I wanted to and I couldn’t remember all the tenses but the Lord helped me.  I could feel the spirit & it helped me to say & think of what to say. It is awesome!

 

July 28th, 1994 – Thursday

Peterson hooked me up with some real good beef jerky.  My sis wrote me & Dad did too. Mere wrote a good letter.  It made me miss her. She’s awesome. Today in class we went over the 1st discussion a lot.  I had to do 50 push-ups today. This evening during a sharing from the Book of Mormon I felt I needed to share my experience I had at EFY with the spirit.  I really felt I needed to share it, but I didn’t. Thinking of that time made me remember the feelings I had. It made me feel loved once again. I think I shouldn’t shared it but I hope I have another time.  I ran into Brian Mc….. (from EFY – 6’8’’ stud). It’s cool to see these people from the past. I had the chance to bear my testimony in Spanish today. I felt the spirit a lot. I told Elder Ashworth I loved him & that he was a great missionary.

 

July 29th, 1994 – Friday

Today has been good.  We went over discussions 1.3 to 1.4.  It was great. The spirit was felt. I need to work hard every class period & try to improve every class.  I need to have the spirit all the time. I’ve practiced the discussions & it’s very hard. I want to feel the spirit but sometimes the other person isn’t into it.  I need a lot of work on my sharing. I need help from the Lord. I pray for it. Ma wrote me & Trent, too. They’re doing good.

 

July 30th, 1994 – Saturday

Today was weird.  I learned a lot about the Charlas & did well & felt the help of the Spirit.  Brother Ballado interviewed me. He challenged me to do something. I told him I wanted to work on humility & he challenged me to wash the feet of my companion.  I was like….ummmm… & felt I couldn’t do it. But I told him I would. Then after the interview I was always thinking about it & never felt the spirit. I even was thinking “I can do this” but the spirit never confirmed it.  So I wonder if it’s appropriate. I wouldn’t feel appropriate doing this. I just feel it’s mimicking Christ. But I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not humble enough. I’m going to talk to President Gifford about it. Tonight was a good class. I felt the spirit when I worked with Hermana Bowlden.  It was good. Today in Ballado’s we watched “The Last Leaf”. In it an old man painted a leaf so a young girl would live. She was going to die if the last leaf fell, so he painted one. I feel sick. I need rest & I need the Lord’s help.

 

July 31, 1994 – Sunday

Today was excellent.  Wow. A taste of downs & ups.  This morning we had district meeting.  Elder Goettsche taught a sweet lesson on the purpose of the Book of Mormon.  He talked about the gathering of Israel. It made me realize once again our purpose is to gather Israel.  We need to gather the souls into our church through the Book of Mormon. Today I talked to President Steed.  I asked him about what he felt of washing of feet. He told me to do something else to show love for my companion because washing of feet isn’t a cultural thing for us.  I agree with him because I didn’t feel good at all about it. Today I got sick (still am). I went to all meetings which were awesome. I also slept for about 1 ½ hours. It was good.  I didn’t think I’d go to the Gospel Study class tonight so I could get more sleep. I decided to go & I had an awesome spiritually uplifting experience. I know Satan didn’t want me to go to that meeting.  He put that thought in my head. It goes to show what Mom said was right. “You never know if this meeting/ activity will be a spiritually changing/ uplifting experience.” We talked about the Restoration. We saw a video about it & it made me realize how LUCKY I am to be a member of the true church.  How lucky I am to hold the priesthood. The people who followed Joseph Smith had so much faith. I need to apply this to my life. I need to have faith that this wimpy sickness I feel is nothing. Joseph Smith went without sleep for a long time & because of his faith he stayed healthy. I need to follow his example!  I need to share this gospel to all. Open my mouth & have no fear! I had a vision of a picture with me in it & me bending down & kneeling, talking & playing with little children. I want to get a picture of me with those children. I love children & need to be more like them. I love being a missionary. This is the only true church The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I KNOW IT! & I’m gonna share it.