• “We are indebted to our parents for many things but one of the most important examples for us was that no matter how tough times got, my mother believed that we were better off than some and had an obligation to share with those less fortunate.” Remarks to The 2008 Annual Membership Meeting Society of Financial Service Professionals, Bethesda Country Club. Bill Walace, CLU®, ChFC® JUNE 13, 2008
  • “Many families find this practice useful for children of all ages. Divide your child’s allowance among 3 “jars,” for spending, saving, and giving. This will reinforce the importance of saving and giving and also will provide early practice in money management. Once or twice a year, talk with your child about the “giving jar” and help identify possible recipients. If your child likes animals, visit the local animal shelter or do research together on the Internet for an appropriate charity. Some parents encourage their children to hand-deliver the gift or to add volunteer time to their financial donation. Parents of older children can provide an added incentive by offering to “match” the contribution” Remmer, “Raising Children with Philanthropic Values“
  • “Invite your children to participate in your charitable giving by creating an informal “family fund.” Encourage children to nominate their favorite charities or causes and then hold an annual family meeting to discuss their ideas. When the children are younger, it may be helpful to offer specific ideas, such as buying toys for hospitalized children or supporting baby animals at the local zoo. As they mature, you can show children how to research and evaluate their proposed charities for presentation at the family meeting. The Internet is a wonderful tool for the preliminary research, although nothing replaces the heartfelt experience of visiting organizations and seeing them in action.” Remmer, “Raising Children with Philanthropic Values“
  • “Time is a precious commodity in our lives. Many well-meaning parents unintentionally limit their availability to be with their children because of important business, social, and charitable commitments. “While it is not possible to create universal rules regarding time,” Hausner says, “learning effective parenting techniques can make the time you spend with your children meaningful, memorable and special, so that you are, in a sense, with them even when you are not.” Many observers have pointed out that the quality of time we spend with our children is just as important as the quantity.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 42
  • “Further challenges include being realistic in your expectations of children, helping them to develop their own competencies and thus avoiding unhealthy dependence on the powerful adults surrounding them. You should learn to be an excellent listener, communicating in a manner that demonstrates respect for each child.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 42
  • “If you already have money without the necessity of working, it becomes easy not to develop the discipline and focus that lead to competency. Children who are raised in an impoverished environment are forced to become independent and competent because there is nobody providing for them. Whatever they desire must come through their own effort. What happens to a wealthy child surrounded by people who do things for the child: tutors, nannies, and strong parents-a whole world of people whose main function is to service the child? The critical issue is the lack of work experience. If you read autobiographies of great achievers, most of them struggled and had significant work experience. They sold newspapers, they worked on the docks, they worked in a store. They really worked hard, and this type of work is one of the important competency experiences. Contrast this to the world of wealthy children. If they’re not in school, they’re often in summer camp or traveling in Europe. Not only do they often miss the opportunity of working, but in families of generational wealth, they don’t even see the model of work in their families. The source of the family’s financial support is a trust fund. In these situations, how are they going to get the idea about what it means to work? Work is important because it is a method of validating oneself. Additionally, it gives the individual the opportunity to experience the “high” of achievement. When a child becomes addicted to the excitement of achievement, then money will not impair their productivity.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 44-45
  • “How do parents provide financial security, yet create opportunities for meaningful work that leads to self-actualization? Parents have to give their children opportunities to be competent as often as possible. This means that from the time your children are able to do anything for themselves, they do it. In spite of the consideration that your family may employ full-time help, children need to be assigned specific chores for which they are responsible. These might include setting the table, cleaning their rooms, and feeding pets. Additionally, I think you must stimulate them intellectually. Talk to your children and ask for their opinions.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 45-46
  • “Entrepreneurial parents have said to me, “I have a seven-year-old child, and we’re flying in our private jet to Jackson Hole. I’m worried about the message I’m sending my child. How do I raise children with a balanced view of our family wealth?”This is a big challenge. What the parents might say is, “We happen to be extremely fortunate, and we have this jet that we can use on special occasions. Most people are notable to use this airplane, and we do not talk about it because it will make people feel unhappy or jealous. This is a luxury item that is available because your mom or your dad worked very hard.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 46
  • “That is one joy of having money: you can give your children all the tools that they need to be competent and independent adults.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 52
  • “Grade school, ages 6 to 12
    • Discuss caring for possessions.
    • Structure an allowance: Most experts suggest a modest amount for being part of the family and doing certain basic household chores.
    • Provide jobs for pay.
    • Encourage long-term savings: Consider matching any money they will save for over a year.
    • Set limits around money, for example, not buying everything they want when you go shopping.
    • Introduce philanthropy: Help them to give and take them on-site visits.

    Teen years, ages 13 to 18

    • Insist on summer employment; fund their Roth IRA.
    • Guide them through their budget and a 1040 tax return.
    • Advocate smart consumerism: For example, discuss the messages in advertising and the impact of advertising on their purchases.
    • Discuss the intelligent use of credit cards and checking accounts.
    • Explore investments on the Internet.
    • Engage them in philanthropy: Encourage site visits and include them in evaluating gift decisions.

    College years, ages 18 and over

    • Work with them on a college spending budget.
    • Insist on summer employment and fund their Roth IRA.
    • Set up adviser-facilitated learning about investments.
    • Provide money for them to manage.
    • Explain the roles of trustee and beneficiary, if trusts are used in your family.
    • Engage them in philanthropy; add them to the board of your philanthropic fund.”

    Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 55-56

  • “In short, we need to be “awake” to the messages surrounding money that we send to our children and aware of those messages we inherited from our own parents.” Wealth in Families Third Edition (Charles W. Collier) Page 92
  • “The greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is looking.” Dan Pearce